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Bereavement

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Poems for my daughter

8 replies

RidingOn · 02/11/2019 12:11

My daughter died aged 40, leaving two children, 7 and 5.

I've written some poems for her. Maybe you are going through something similar?

If you like them, I might send them to Roy Castle's Lung Cancer Federation. If not, I shall leave them quietly on my computer.

I've put them on the Creative Writing thread too. I've never shared any poems before, and I'd really appreciate some honest reactions. Thank you.

I don't know how to attach them so they are below.

I give you this day

I give you this day,
And all my days -
Oh my daughter, if only I could!
But your days are gone.
And I live your life,
Day by day.

And you would take it,
We both know, rightfully yours.
To see their brave faces,
To hug their small bodies.
You would take it,
This precious day,
With both hands.

If only I could give it
To you, my darling.
This day, tomorrow,
And all of my days.

Ride on

As you rode on the shoreline together,
Bright sunshine, cool breezes, vast ocean,
Did you look behind you to see
That the waves took your prints from the sand?

No, you looked ahead, to your future
The wedding, the children, sweet life,
With all that you had to be glad for
With the man who you loved by your side.

Now we have to ride on without you
Cruel time, cruel tide, cruel sea -
All traces have gone from the sands,
But you are and will stay in our lives.

She sits and plays

She sits and plays, as you sat and played
The day you came back to us,
Safe, we thought, at last.
I heard your music through the open window
As I sat in the garden in the April sunshine.

You will not hear your daughter, playing as you played,
Sitting, straight-backed, staring at the score,
Small hands stretching to the highest notes.
She plays her life sweetly, as you played yours,
Trembling notes slipping through her fingers,
But still trusting, that her life and your life will run on.
Hers through yours and yours through hers.

[Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata]

Were you there?

When I walked in the hallway,
Were you there, were you there?
When I walked in the hallway,
Were you there?

Chorus
And the tears and the smiles
And the hugs don’t matter -
Were you there?

When they put on their helmets,
Were you there, were you there?
When they put on their helmets,
Were you there?

Chorus

When they rode off to school,
Were you there, were you there?
When they rode off to school,
Were you there, were you there?

Chorus

When they struggled with their reading,
Were you there, were you there?
When they struggled with their reading,
Were you there?

Chorus

When they lay on their pillows
Were you there, were you there?
When they lay on their pillows,
Were you there?

Chorus

When we all wept together,
Were you there, were you there?
When we all wept together,
Were you there?

Chorus

[To the tune of ‘When I needed a neighbour, were you there?’, a hymn by Sydney Carter. See ]

Thank you!

OP posts:
notthemum · 02/11/2019 12:22

The second one is very similar to one with the same name and might be a problem . Can't remember it but it does say "when I needed a (friend/neighbour/etc) were you there were you there . (Repeats)and your race, creed or colour and your name don't matter were you there were you there

RidingOn · 02/11/2019 12:55

Yes, it copies it almost exactly. I wrote at the bottom: [To the tune of ‘When I needed a neighbour, were you there?’, a hymn by Sydney Carter. See www.youtube.com/watch?v=fExR7eOhJO0

I just personalised it for us. As it's a well-known song, I thought it would be easy for people to identify with.

Maybe it's a bit trite? I was trying to express many things: how I keep asking my daughter if she is there (all the time); and how I blame her for not being there, and how I hope she is there, continuing to protect her children, and joining in with our daily lives.

But the original is basically a religious song, that (I think) asks if God was there, inside the people who are doing the good things. I'm not religious, though.

OP posts:
Shouldbedoing · 02/11/2019 12:58

I think your poems are beautiful and the song adaptations too.

crispycrisis · 02/11/2019 13:33

Absolutely beautiful

Bybbyeblackbird · 02/11/2019 13:36

'She sits and plays' is lovely. I am sorry you lost your daughter.

RidingOn · 02/11/2019 15:07

Thank you Smile

OP posts:
bossybloss · 02/11/2019 22:10

All of them are beautiful.-

notapizzaeater · 02/11/2019 23:20

They are beautiful

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