Recently lost my gran who I was very close to. She was a huge part of my upbringing and a thoroughly decent and wonderful woman.
She became ill and died within the space of a month. So while we were told she was terminal and prepared for her to go it still happened very quickly.
On a day to day basis I am coping well. I'm going to work, looking after dc, having days out, laughing. But every now and then I will have some sort of moment where I remember she's not here anymore. That I won't ever see or talk to her again. I am finding it so hard to deal with and make sense of.
Sorry this is a ramble. I just wonder how people get through it. My gran was old. It doesn't make it easier but I suppose it's the natural order of things. But how do people cope losing children, spouses, parents before their time. All I can keep thinking now is that this the beginning of me gradually losing the people I love and life is just going to get progressively shitter and sadder from here on.
There are support services available I know that but I feel like I just need to get on and accept it. It's life. I just feel so sad and regretful of not spending more time with her while I could.