Hand hold please

[Sherbert5]

My Nan is about to die. It could be tomorrow, it could be next week or even next month but it won't be long. The rest of the family don't want to admit it, but I know it's true.

I put a brave face on it, visiting her in the hospital, because she hates fuse and wouldn't want to see me upset. But when I'm on my own I cry like I never thought I could.

She isn't 'just' a grandparent to me. She's been more of a mother to me than my actual mother, she's been my best friend, my soulmate if such a things can exist.

I just don't know how I'm going to live life knowing I can't ring her anymore, or pop round for tea. When I see her, looking more ill and frail, it's truly breaking my heart. I want to cherish the time we have left but I know it's going to kill me regardless when she's gone.

Holding your hand from Australia.

Another handhold from me.

Big hugs x

I want to add:

I just don't know how I'm going to live life knowing I can't ring her anymore, or pop round for tea.

Don't worry about the future, many people surprise themselves with their own strength when the worst happens. Just take each day as it comes. In time you may come to realise that you're already going through the toughest part at this point in time. Waiting for someone to die is awful - as a a society I think we assume that grief is something that those left behind experience after a person dies, but IME it's also happening as they're dying.