I’m six months in (almost to the day) and my entire focus for the past six months has been getting to this milestone. I know that for most people, things feel better after six months, and they definitely don’t feel as raw or traumatic as the early days. Nowhere close, and for that I’m grateful. However as we turn into a new season, I’m finding I’m struggling again. I’m missing him more. I haven’t ‘done’ Autumn or Winter without him yet, and I did love our cosy evenings in front of the fire, and the way we’d bring in the fruit harvest, and the way we’d plan for Christmas. Everything is so different this year, and I’m not looking forward to the long, cold evenings in a world where he doesn’t exist anymore, even though our relationship was really troubled.
Just wanted to get that off my chest really.