Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Bile duct cancer. Hand hold and info please *edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

6 replies

sosoverytired · 13/08/2019 11:37

Hand hold and any info appreciated. A week and a half ago my dad was given 2 weeks to live. We suspected cancer but not this. No treatment available and he is too weak.
So pain management and comfort is all we can do.
As we lived in different countries and I have a young family, disabled daughter and both kids have health conditions we weren't able to visit often so the guilt is eating me at the moment.
He is not aware he is dying as his memory is gone.
I and my family came straight here upon prognosis and I am now his nurse. No home care available here.
The kids are young and don't understand. Just that they are bored. My sibling can't do needles and still resents me for a falling out years ago and that I couldn't visit more often or move here. My dads partner is hindering caring for him and routinely causes him more pain by doing exactly what I said not too. But I'm pushed out as I haven't been here. They have forgotten I'm loosing my dad and the grandfather of my children. His only grandchildren. I'm angry at them and trying to hold it together. Sorry for rant.

OP posts:
sosoverytired · 13/08/2019 11:38

Sorry. That's meant to say Bile duct. It's in liver. And has spread to many other parts of body.

OP posts:
sosoverytired · 13/08/2019 11:40

I don't know how to edit title to say Bile duct. Mumsnet can you help please?

OP posts:
Elderflower14 · 15/08/2019 07:24

Sending you a handhold... Report your first post and ask MN to amend the title.

picklemepopcorn · 15/08/2019 07:31

Ah, that's really tough.
You'll be feeling very fragile and thin skinned- but so are they. When my dad was dying, it felt as though avoiding falling out with everyone else was a big part of the experience.

The priority now is keeping things calm for him. He doesn't want arguments over who's looking after him.

sosoverytired · 15/08/2019 10:55

Thank you. Have reported the title to mumsnet and hopefully it will be changed

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 15/08/2019 11:44

Hi OP, sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. My FIL had bile duct cancer, it's quite rare but the consultant said it was getting more common. He was diagnosed in the March and died in the August, he did try chemo but it doesn't really work on bile duct cancer but he was so desperate to try. I cant offer anything more really so I hope he is as comfortable as he can be. Hugs to you xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page