Found out today that a close childhood friend has just died. It was from illness but very sudden. He was fine not very long ago. (We are / were Facebook friends so I had a rough idea of what he was up to.)
I haven’t seen him for many years (we both moved away from our home town in opposite directions) so I don’t really feel like I have a right to grieve but I do feel very sad.
But more than that - I have realised that I’m wasting my life stressing about things that don’t matter. The day he died I was at work, super stressed and worried about a piece of work, thinking I had it really really hard and how awful my life is. This piece of work has been stressing me for months. Making me miserable for months.
And I need to stop this now. I am good at my job. (Actually had a really positive half year review yesterday.) I actually like my job when I am not stressing about it. And it isn’t a particularly stressful job. I’m not a medic in a war zone who has to amputate limbs and perform CPR whilst being fired on! I have a nice, interesting, well paid, part time office job. The problem is me and my personality - not the job. I am making myself stressed and miserable for no reason.
Well not any more. As of today I am not going to stress about work. I will go, do my best and that is it.
He was such a lovely boy who grew into such a lovely man.