DS nearly died on holiday - feel like I am going mad!

[chicaguapa]

Firstly, please forgive me if this is not the right place to start this thread. I am aware that DS didn't die so bereavement isn't necessarily accurate and I don't want to appear insensitive to other mumsnetters.

2 months ago I went on holiday with DH, DD & DS and another family. Through a series of mistakes and misinformation DS who is 2.5 went in the swimming pool without his armbands. There were 2 adults around the pool, me who was reading and the dad in the other family. Neither of us saw him go in. I glanced up and saw him floating vertically in the pool, completely still and with his eyes open. I got him out and the dad has lots of 1st aid training so he pumped his stomach and DS regained consciousness.

DS is one of those boys that always seems to be in the middle of something dangerous and I don't know to cope with what happened and the idea that something like this might happen again. I am trying so hard not to overeact to anything he gets up to now that I think I might have gone too far the other way. He disappeared at DD's school and someone found him waiting for me at my car, parked on the main road!

I don't know what I'm looking for really but I just feel that if I let go of my inner turmoil that I'll go mad. Not sure this is making any sense.

God how awful for you.
Can well imagine you having lots of horrendous flashbacks.

He didn't die though.
You were there and saw him in time.

Maybe it would help you to make more sense of it by considering it as a sort of 'wake up' call from a higher power,reminding you that little kids need a lot of surveillance.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

poor you - that's terrifying.

I do understand what you are feeling. It's easy to become obsessed with what could happen to you. I find myself obsessively reading articles about people who have lost a child as if I am trying to learn something for future use...

It's very easy to get stuck in unhelpful patterns of thinking - especially about things like this. No suggestions really as I am experiencing something similar without having gone through your trauma. I am thinking about cognitive behavioural therapy to help me break this pattern. Might help?

how scarey. I can see how that might mess your mind up a bit.

but it is easily done. dd also fell in a pool at that age. I wasn't there - my friend was babysitting and she pulled her out after her son casually mentioned that dd was in the pool. god, I'm glad I wasn't there.

anyway I know what you mean about not going over the top, but also not being neglectful. But you describe isn't neglectful (if that's what you mean by "too far the other way"). 2 year olds wander off sometimes. at least he has some raod sense by the sound of it. but it will probably help to talk to him about the dangers of getting lost, or of going where you tell him not to. do you ever tell him stories? telling him a story about a little boy like him who gets lost is a really good way to get them to talk about it. doesn't have to be a complicated story (although dd likes it when there's a monster involved)

he'll be OK.