Preparing for funeral reading

[MrsGannicus]

I'm not sure if I can prepare but I'd like to read a poem at my lovely Dad's funeral next week and am worried I'm going to go to pieces.

The celebrant has been great and said they would check in on the day to see how we feel and will catch my eye before I go up so I can shake my head of I want him to read it instead. I'd just really like to read it if I can so does anyone have any tips that helped when preparing for a reading?

I'm so sorry about your loss.

No experience with reading, but I sung a song at a funeral last year, I was a nervous wreck and also very emotional. If you're feeling anxious, practising calm breathing really helped me. When it came to singing, I just focussed on delivering the song and tried to detach myself from the circumstance for those few minutes. I got through it. I think with things like this, something else takes over in the moment and we manage. I hope this makes sense and can help.

I suggest that the celebrant has a copy so if you start and feel you cannot finish they will simply carry on, they are used to doing this. Having a back up person is an alternative

I suggest you read it out loud to yourself in your bedroom in front of the mirror with nobody around. Repeat this until you are able to read it through (aloud) without falling to pieces. That should help de-sensitise you to the overwhelming emotion on the day. So sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss. Do what @sicario says. Then on the day if you feel you are about to fall apart stop and breath deeply a couple of times. I have never before got through a funeral without crying but did so at my DFs funeral five weeks ago when I read a poem. I never thought I would manage it but I did. Good luck OP. 💐

I had to do this last year. I second the advice to practise reading it out loud many, many times, until it just sounds likes words. That'll help you through on the day. But yes also have a copy for the celebrant just in case.

When I read the eulogy I was delivering I still had a wobble, despite the practise, but I just said 'I'm sorry", took a breath and kept going. Everyone will be with you and behind you, and a wobble is ok.

It's a lovely thing to do for someone you love. I hope it goes well for you

Sorry for your loss. I have done this at my mum and dad's funeral and it is hard but I made it through.
Do you have someone who can come up with you for support and take over if you falter?
I has my sister stood with me me we both had lines to say, but she read mine at one point when I couldn't and I did the same for her. It really helped

I read a poem at my dad's funeral last year. Look just above everyone's heads so it looks like you're looking at them but no one can actually catch your eye. Move your head from left to right so it looks like you are speaking to everyone. Don't under any circumstances look at close family.

Speak at least one beat slower than you think you need to. Deep breath before you start and it will be over before you realise.

I read the poem a few times at home to get a feel for the words and the beat but don't try and memorize. Also print or write out your copy in a decent font size so it's easy to read if your eyes get blurry with tears.

Finally it's not the end of the world if you do cry, it's your dad's funeral after all .

I gave a eulogy at my parents' memorial. They both died the same week. It was hard, but I managed. I looked at the faces of their life long friends, who were smiling and encouraging me. I had a little wobble and was able to take some deep breaths and continue. I focused in my heart on my parents' love for each other and their children. That helped.

I am so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself and let grief happen.

Thanks everyone. Really good to know that some of you have managed this. I'm going up with my brother so we can read each other bits if needed. I will practice and remember to breathe deeply.

I wrote and delivered my dad's eulogy. Everyone kept telling me not to push myself and that I shouldn't be afraid of letting someone else do it as it would be hard. But you know what, it was fine. I was obviously emotional and very on edge but for me it was the very last thing I could do for him. To send him off with a poem of stories all about him.

If I had been wrong and I couldn't do it my cousin was there right behind me to take over and the celebrant behind her.

It's going to be strange, and hard, and I found it bittersweet as I got to see family and friends I hadn't seen in years.

I spoke at my dads funeral last week. I just had to avoid catching anyones eye - it was fine.

What really helped was going to the funeral home the day before and seeing the coffin. It took thr shock out of it on the day.

You will do your dad proud, I am sure. Sorry for your loss x