1 year on

[PinkiOcelot]

and I’m still really struggling.
My lovely big brother died a year ago on Sunday (12 May) and I feel just as bad now as I did then.
I feel so angry. He was in hospital and all I think about is him telling us to leave him alone and to go away. I can’t think of any good times or laughs we used to have. I only seem to be able to concentrate on that.

Why. Why would he do that?

I highly recommend grief counseling.While the pain will never completely go away,it will give you coping mechanisms.Your brother would want you to be ok,and you are worthy!!

I am so sorry for your loss. This must be a particularly hard time for you. Do you want to talk about him, maybe try to remember the good times? Hope you are okay.

We will be 10 years in July since losing my lovely big brother and it often feels just as raw now as it did after one year - you are not alone. It is very normal to fixate on one thing and be unable to move past it, you are still so very early on in the journey. I would also recommend trying some counselling - I decided at the time it wasn't for me and subsequently found (when I had my first baby and had hormones raging and sleep deprivation) that my unresolved grief came back to manifest itself in some really awful and traumatic ways. If you can find someone to talk to about it, I think you would be better off in the long run.