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Bereavement

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Pregnant after loosing a child

4 replies

yellowapple · 05/05/2019 20:15

I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for by posting here, I suppose I just need to get some things out that I'm slightly afraid to say outloud and perhaps some advice. After about a year and a half of TTC I recently found out that I'm pregnant, of course I'm very happy but I can't help but think about my first child. Sadly my daughter died at the age of 4, her 13th birthday would be in just a couple weeks. I can't help but feel a little guilty, I almost feel like I'm trying to replace her which obviously isn't the case but if she were still here I'm not sure I'd have ever had a second child. At the time I was sure I wouldn't have anymore. I'm also scared to "become" a mum again, I try not to think like this but It's like I failed the first time around. I've felt so ready for a baby the past couple years but now I'm actually pregnant I just keep thinking about DD

OP posts:
lonelyinacrowd39 · 09/05/2019 19:10

Dont feel guilty , think of this baby as a blessing sent to you by your Dd to help you through your grief. You haven't failed her then or now . Flowers

AliceRR · 16/05/2019 00:06

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. You are already a mum so losing your dd and having another baby doesn’t change that. You must not feel guilty for having another child.

It is not the same but I lost a daughter to stillbirth at full term in February this year and the desire to have another child is strong.

My DH and I were discussing it. He has other children but I don’t. The way he sort of explained it was we both lost our only child but as I don’t have other children I don’t have anywhere to put all that love I have as a mother. Having another child seems completely natural to me although I do sometimes experience moments of guilt and worry I’m trying to replace my daughter with another baby but the truth is I loved her so much and even if I were to have ten more children I could never replace her and there would always be something missing.

Good luck with your pregnancy and tell us about your daughter if you would like to xx

Shayne11 · 27/06/2019 22:41

This is her brother or sister - someone to spend a lifetime filling them in on what an amazing big sister they had, someone to help you heal and someone to love to absolute bits. Someone who your dd would want you to have and love you to treasure x

TenDays · 09/07/2019 22:24

A baby is a wonderful blessing, congratulations!

I'm sure it's natural to feel conflicted about the new baby after the loss of your beautiful daughter.

But this child is not a replacement for the little girl you lost; he or she will be a whole new personality to get to know. You will have all the love in the world to share.

When the baby comes everything will fall into place.

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