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Sympathy message wording assistance

3 replies

Hanumantelpiece · 01/04/2019 11:10

Sorry, this is a slightly tricky one.
I know E through a professional organisation we belong to. She has recently joined a hobby group that I attend, and we get on very well, although we don't see each other frequenty (perhaps once every 6 weeks).
E recently advised that her elder brother was extremely unwell (terminally ill with a prognosis of a few weeks) and therefore couldn't attend any meetings of professional/hobby group. I send some flowers on behalf of the hobby group with a card from all members as E is well liked.
Since then, E's brother has died.

I need to contact E about something to do with the hobby group (change to details of next meeting). I want to express my sympathies again as at the time we sent flowers, her brother was still alive. I don't want to bog her down though, nor do I wish to make her feel she must attend our meeting if she feels unable.

Does this sound suitable.

Dear E
Once again, please accept my sympathies for the loss of your brother.

I don't wish to make you feel obliged to attend, but just to advise you that we are considering moving [hobby meeting] to [changed details] as [reason].
Obviously, we would love to see you, but fully appreciate that you have a lot on your plate to deal with right now, and if there is anything that I can do to help with [professional group] or [hobby] please let me know.

Best wishes
Hanu

Is this anywhere near alright? Need to send today but still tying myself in knots over how to convey two messages in one email.

OP posts:
WatcherintheRye · 01/04/2019 11:30

It's sounds fine, but I would hesitate to say 'once again', as this is the first time she has been contacted since the death of her brother.

I also don't think you need to say you don't wish to make her feel obliged to attend. It slightly makes it sound as though you do! In any case that is covered by 'Obviously we would love to see you, but....'

Maybe -
'So terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. Everyone at x sends their sincere condolences.

Just to mention that we are considering.........'

I think the rest is fine.

MotherForkinShirtBalls · 01/04/2019 11:35

Have you been in touch since her brother died? What you've written looks fine, but if I were sending it, I would move the support bit to the start, maybe "how are you doing? I'm sure the sudden loss of your brother has taken a toll on you and all who loved him. Is there anything x or y group can do to support you? We are all still thinking of you and send our sincere condolences." Then I'd put in the bit about the change of details.

Hanumantelpiece · 01/04/2019 11:59

Thanks both,
I have seen her since but not to speak to, as we were both at a professional meeting last week. I got caught up talking to someone and she'd left before I had managed to say anything to her.

I'll use your suggestions and drop her a quick line.

OP posts:
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