Just wanted space to vent really....
My mum died by suicide in about the most traumatic circumstances possible 15 months ago. She had been a single parent with minimal involvement and I'd spent years, from being a young child, worried she would do it.
My Gran died three months later following a battle with dementia. I was in contact with her nursing home at the time over some significant safeguarding / care issues. On my birthday last year, a few days after my Gran's funeral, I found out I was having a late miscarriage. I was still miscarrying when attending my Mum's inquest.
I was made redundant six months later; around the time our house sale fell through dramatically, costing us tens of thousands of pounds. All of this occurred against the backdrop of my youngest baby almost dying of sepsis at 6 weeks and my youngest two children having very significant health issues (thankfully now well controlled). I have no surviving female blood relatives (my Mum and my Gran basically brought me up). My Grandfather, in his mid 90s, is too distraught to really communicate although we visit when we can (he's 300 miles away). I planned my Mum's funeral with very little support (not through lack of trying to involve others) and then was systematically excluded from the planning of my Gran's by my aunt and uncle.
Most of the time I function OK; I have a new p/t job; I'm doing a course I enjoy; children are well cared for etc. But then I have days like today where I just want to sob. I ended up in a position where I sort-of needed to disclose various details to some newish work colleagues and feel drained by it all.
I doubt anyone has got this far, but thank you for reading if you have! I hope that you gain some peace in relation to whatever or whoever brought you here.