Funeral tomorrow.

[MrsAitch13]

My Darling husband passed away on 4th February. We were told his prognosis was four to six months. We got less than three.

It's his funeral tomorrow and I so want to do him proud. Any tips on how l keep it together?

Oh gosh - my dear husband died on October last year. I really feel for you. I read somewhere about using breathing techniques to keep calm and get through but even now I cannot fathom how I did it. I know that is no help to you but I didn't want your post to go unanswered.

I do know the dread of the day was worse than the day of the funeral and we have some good memories of that day to hold on to.

x

I would also suggest you plan something for the following day - I did struggle more after it was all over. I kept the dc of school and we went for a long walk together and watched a favourite film.

Thank you, that's very helpful.

Sorry for your loss.
Box breathing - helpful hints on Google.

I may be wrong here, so please ignore if this is not the right advice for you as a person but my personal approach is not to hold it together, it’s to allow myself the freedom to let myself fall apart during the funeral. Slightly different though as I have been bereaved of both parents, not a spouse. It must be incredibly difficult and painful, I can’t even imagine.

What helped me though was not blocking any feelings, not caring how I looked to other people (remember they are all on your side, they’re supporting you, and they will hold you up if you need it). My dads funeral in particular was incredibly hard, I did fall to pieces but it helped me grieve.

That’s great advice to plan something for the next day.

Thank you all for the advice, I got through it, albeit with a lot of tears. Lots of Eric Clapton music and reference to his beloved Spurs. I hope I did him proud.

It sounds splendid MrsAitch13

My DH's funeral had the music, too. I used self-hypnosis not to cry, and not because I would judge someone who did, but did not want to myself.

So sorry OP

It's not easy speaking at a loved ones funeral. I did it in August but I got through just wanting to make him proud. I pray you have some peace and comfort during this time x

I bring his ashes home tomorrow. I hope that brings me some comfort.

Oh @MrsAitch13 my heart breaks for you. Sounds like you're amazing, so strong. I can't offer advice but just to let you know some random stranger is thinking of you.

so very sorry for your loss

Thank you all xx

I hope that you are ok x

Bless you. Lots of love x

Did it bring you comfort?

Thank you for thinking of me. It's brought a degree of comfort. I hated the time before his funeral because, although I could go and see him, he was physically elsewhere. Now he's home. Although that brings finality, which hurts. Somebody warned me that it would be like another funeral and it was.

I went for some counselling yesterday at the hospice he was in and I had underestimated how l would feel going back, so it's been an emotional few days.

Hello. I hope that you are feeling ok today. I am so sorry for your loss. I have experience d significant losses. But I would advise to not post on here for such an important issue. Please take care of yourself x

MrsAitch13, keep posting, if not on here, on the Partners/Spouses threads.I've never found any part of the MN Bereavement section other than supportive.