Worried about reading at dad's funeral

[missmapp]

I am doing a reading at my dad's funeral. I was fine with doing it and had practiced the piece. However, since meeting with the minister the order of service has been changed and i am now reading after the two eulogies.. I am so worried that I will be upset after the eulogies and cry during the reading. I really do not want to do that. I hate crying in front of others and it will upset my mum. I want to do my dad, and mum proud and deliver the reading well.

Any tips ? How can I get through to his without a wobbly voice ??

You can’t drink and cry so a glass of water to sip from ? Might be weird at a funeral but normal for public speaking so maybe ok?

I’m sorry for your loss. I would struggle with reading too.

Hmmm. Maybe a bottle of water. Not a bad idea. Thank you .

Why can’t you ask to do the reading first, surely there is some understanding for you being his DD?

I know it’s easy to say but try not to worry about it too much.

If you feel yourself tearing up try pinching yourself and having a drink is a really good idea.

Deep breaths, before and during. You’ll be fine.

Sorry to hear about your dad

Sorry that sounded unsympathetic. I’m sorry for your loss. If you’re worried about this, I would see if there is a way of doing the reading first.

If you do cry, people will understand and will not think anything of it.

My brother is doing the eulogy. As that is the harder thing to do , I am happy to let him choose the order

Deep breaths do normally work. You are right though, no point worryin g.

I cried buckets practising in the bathroom. When it came to it, nearly a year ago, it was fine. I wanted to be calm for my mother and chose a short poem.

Sorry for your loss

Agree that sipping water may help, also try to focus on something at the back of the room perhaps whilst you are doing the reading. Nobody will think any less of you if you have to just pause a moment either, it’s a very brave thing to do. I know you have said you don’t want to cry but really everybody will understand if you shed a few tears.

I am very sorry for your loss.

I read at my dad's funeral, I wrote his eulogy, I'll be honest, it was a bit funny, but, main tip is right now read, read and read it over and over and over again, out loud, so it becomes very familiar, wear it out so you've faced off the emotion with in it,and on the day don't feel obliged to look up at people, keep looking down and reading from the page,it's a tiny barrier against everyone's emition.

Sorry on the loss if your dad op, and hope he has a beautiful send off x

Plenty of practice - read it through so many times that the emotion no longer catches you. See yourself as holding it together to do a job and try for those moments not to think about why or who for.

Ultimately, if you do get emotional, that’s OK and the other mourners will have huge sympathy. Sorry for your loss and best wishes

I’m so very sorry for your loss. Could you have something to hold (stress ball) or a band around your wrist to ping to distract you?
Could you have the words on a series of cards? You would have to focus on keeping them in order?

sorry for your loss
the waiting will almost certainly be worse than the speaking. once you start the reading you will find a strength you didn't know you had.
whether you read it well or make a complete mess of it, people will find it moving. could you have someone on standby to take over if it gets too much for you?
also remember you really don't have to do it if you're not up to it x

If I should die before the rest of you. Joyce Grenfell. It was quick!

I did the reading at my Nana's funeral, I read it from her bible. I made it most of the way through but my voice cracked at the end. It still did her justice and it's ok to be a little emotional at the send off of someone you love x

I didn’t manage to get through what I was supposed to read at a good friend’s funeral but thankfully had another good friend up there with me holding my hand and she took over.

Ask to read the eulogies in advance so you get used to them. Same with any music, slideshows etc. If you see/hear things often enough you kind of inoculate yourself and won't be taken by surprise. And have someone on standby to do the reading for you if you really can't go through with it.

Lobster, we almost chose the poem !

Thanks all. Will keep practicing . I agree with seeing it as a job and hope that but will take over from emotion.

Thanks for your kind messages

It's OK if you get upset during the reading. I had to take one of my mum's pills to get through my Dad's funeral. It's incredibly emotional and people understand that.