What do I need to do after death

[Noddythefirst]

My mother passed away earlier this week. I feel very numb and sad but know that I have to do a few practical things. Please let me know what I need doing.
I have:

1. got death certificate from GP and have an appointment to register her death tomorrow. Who do I need additional death certificates for? Banks, pension companies? Who else? I was going to pay for five copies or do I not need as many?

2. put announcement in paper

3. started emptying room at nursing home

4. seen priest to discuss funeral. I need to plan funeral on my own (Catholic). Does anyone know where I can get ideas of hymns/ readings to use?

5. Had undertaker meeting and have supplied him with clothes for mother to wear for burial

6. Have booked wake venue

What else do I need to do and who do I need to notify?
I feel I'm also in autopilot but just want to get things done before I am too drained of energy

Sorry for your loss. There's a leaflet available (nursing home may have one, or GP surgery) that lists everything. I don't think you need multiple copies of the death certificate.

So sorry for your loss. You are doing all the right things. There are reading suggestions if you google, religious and other ones. For hymns and music try to remember anything she liked and ask her friends. X

Sorry forgot. Think about her eulogy it’s incredibly hard but brings back happy memories. I gave a eulogy for my mum and am so pleased I did. However think who you would want to say your words if you don’t feel able on the day.

Sorry for your loss - a friend went through same recently and was advised to get around 10 copies of death certificate - a lot of people may need these. Good luck.

Contact her pension provider, bank, building society. I got 10 certificates when my DF died, and needed about 8. It's better to get more now than have to get extra later.

So sorry for your loss op

You sound as though you are doing everything really well. It is very hard so I hope you have some rl support.

this site has some ideas for prayers and other advice about death which you may find helpful. It's a Catholic website but contains practical advice for everyone.

Condolences.

The government have a step-by-step guide for the formalities. Link below.

Gov Guide

Sorry. It’s much cheaper to get certificates when you register. It’s surprising how many you may need, many places won’t accept a photocopy and may be slow to return the originals to you.

Sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss . It doe seem so overwhelming to have to get into ‘organise’ mode so soon.
The Registrar should give you a booklet about organising things after a death, which you can use as a checklist. There is also a document online from .gov.uk called “What to do when someone dies” - it will come up on a Google search.
The Registrat will usually offer the “Tell us once” service - this informs all the government run organisation of your Mother’s death, such as DWP, HMR for tax etc.
I’m surprised that your Priest didn’t suggest readings/hymns etc- or lend you a hymn book to have a look at and make your choice from. There is a YouTube section on hymns and funeral hymns if you can bear it.
The funeral director is a count of knowledge too, but don’t be hurried into making decisions, take a day or two to think over things.
I hope it all goes ok for you.

Sorry for your loss
If your mum went to mass regularly ask members of her congregation if they know her favourite hymns
If not, the priest should help
Awful thing when you are going through so much to have to do so much. Thoughts with you

Sorry for your loss
When you register her death the registrar should give you a code to access the Government "tell us once" website where one log in enables you notify pensions, blue badge, etc all at oncr and so you dont need so many copies of the death certificate.

So sorry for your loss
I would recommend at least 5 copies of the death certificates, some organisations don't seem to return them.

Also check if the Tell us Once service is available when you register your mum's death, it takes away the stress of having to tell too many organisations.

If you have to phone any companies always ask to speak to their bereavement department, you tend to speak to people who are more understanding, and don't tend to get the 'hope you have a lovely rest of the day' comments you can get from call centres.

Yes the priest should be helping you!

Lead Kindly Light, The Lord is my Shepherd and The Day Thou gavest Our Lord has ended are often sung at Catholic funerals. I hope the funeral and wake bring you some comfort op.

Here are some more suggestions for readings and hymns:

here

I am so sorry for your loss OP Catholic here,we sing, Be Not Afraid,The Clouds Veil, and Here I Am Lord at funerals.I didn’t see you mentioning doing the order of service booklets,which of course aren’t necessary but can be a nice way to show some lovely photos of your mum to everyone and write something nice about her too.

I am so sorry for your loss. Ask the registrar (although they should bring it up) to notify pensions etc. That is one less thing for you to do. About 10 copies of the death certificate usually covers everything. You never know when you will need another one. Your undertaker will do the notice for the paper for you, which is included in the price they pay. They will also organise any flowers you might want, also for a price. If you are not sure of hymns, the priest will make suggestions. Very often they suggest the 23rd Psalm and Abide With Me. (Catholic ones might be different, I am not as familiar with the Catholic hymn book). The priest will ask you questions about your DM and put together the eulogy for you if you cannot face doing this yourself, or will read it out for you during the service. Lean on the support they give you. That is their job and they are very good at it. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

So sorry for your loss. My FILs undertaker had a printed list of things to do. It really helped us to just work through it. We didn't forget a thing so it worked.

Sorry for your loss. For hymns for an RC funeral, you might like 'Do not be afraid (for I have redeemed you)' and 'Lord of all Hopefulness'. Both have very moving words and lovely tunes.

So sorry for your loss OP.

Did your Mum leave a will? If so, and you are her executor then you may need to start to administer her estate or instruct a solicitor to do it (if it is complex).

If she didn’t leave a will then you may need to apply for letters of administration.

You can find more information about both these processes on the government website. There is however no immediate rush as you are still in the very early stages.

Be kind to yourself and try not to overdo it. I wish someone had told me that when I lost my Dad.

I'm very sorry about your dm. Do you have anyone who could help you with some thing eg a cousin or a friend as its a lot on your own?
The priest should have all the readings and you can select the ones you like. My dm had a RC funeral and the priest was a great help. Would you like someone to do some readings eg friend, family member. You need to ask them.
I'm in lreland so things are different but do you need to sort an organist?
Do you have grave sorted or a crematorium?
Have you told your dms neighbours/ close friends/ carers
Have you ordered some flowers?
Its very difficult on your own. I have a big family and we all sorted bits each and still we all found it exhausting. Make sure you eat and accept all help you are offered.

So sorry for your loss.

If she is receipt of a pension then you may need to notify. As others have said, a leaflet from gp/ undertaker/ nursing home should cover most things you need to do.

For my Dad's funeral i found things hard to process and was a bit daunted by the to do list, and i was in a bit of a daze. Be kind to yourself. I sometimes look at the booklet from the service and it gives me a little comfort.
Take any offer of help.

No, I haven't received that leaflet but I will ask the undertaker for it. I didn't realise the undertaker placed death notice in paper. Is it a free service with all undertakers? Just paid £400 to put it in The Times but may also put it in local paper.
My brother lives abroad and is not coming until just before the funeral. He has not been helpful in the slightest. Mother's family all live abroad too. I'm feeling really alone in doing everything and no one is proposing to help. Feeling very down too.
Can I access the thing to cancel DWP etc after meeting with the registrar as I said I didn't think I needed it then. My mind is all over the place at the moment so I probably wasn't thinking when I said that.

OP did you manage to go through the tell us once service with the registrar to day? If you didn't I think you can do it online.

The undertaker arranged a notice for my dad's death in the local paper and the cost was added to the overall bill

Sorry about your Mum.
We’ve recently been through this recently with my Aunt.

As above get extra copies of the death certificate.

Do you know her bank? Take it to them & as they allowed us to pay her final nursing home fees & funeral expenses from them before starting probate.

Look at pensions & contact them, they will work out if she was owed anything & settle it up.

Probate seems to be a minefield, however we got the Which Probabte Pack which was easy to navigate.