How to explain death to a 2 year old??

[ottersandowls]

My grandad died recently. We were very close & my 2.5 year old talks about him often. He knows he was in hospital for a short time as he was poorly, but I don't know what to say when he asks about him now. My family are Christian, but we're not overly religious so I don't really want to say 'he's in heaven'. I'm just struggling to think of age-appropriate words to use that will explain things to my son.
Any advice or experience would be much appreciated. Thank you!

There are some good stories which can help to read to him. Badger’s Parting Gift is one and Goodbye Mog (although obviously this is about a pet but it does show mog going up to heaven and watching down over his (or her, I was never sure!) family).

I’m very sorry to hear about your Grandpa.

Sorry for your loss OP.

This probably isn't that helpful a post because I can't remember the name of the book but in the library the other day I was flicking through a pre school type book dealing with bereavement and it was a really lovely book. Your local librarian might be able to point you in the right direction.

I'm sorry for your loss OP, we have had a couple bereavements this year, when my DD was a similar age. I looked at some charity websites about talking about death with young children, which I found helpful. We kept it simple and said Granddad has died, that means we won't see him anymore and that makes us sad. She did just seem to accept this. I hope you find the right words

What’s the problem with saying he’s in heaven, OP? If your family are Christian then that is surely one of your core beliefs.
My DH died when our eldest was two, and it was a great comfort to her to know that daddy was safe with God, and that we would all be reunited eventually.
On what would have been DH’s birthdays, both DDs drew birthday cards for him and blew him kisses “to heaven”.
I shudder at the cruelty of poor atheists having to say to their kids that he’s buried in the ground, being eaten by worms and is gone forever - I’ve no idea how they or their kids cope with such bleak beliefs. I wish there was some way to reassure them that Jesus promised our souls eternal life, and the dead body is just a shell of mortal remains.

Thanks so much for your replies. I've seen some books advertised and had been looking at Badger's Parting Gifts so will look into getting that for him.

@Babdoc my family are Christian but DH and I are not religious. My mum is very religious and believes the same as you with regard to heaven, it's just not something I believe in strongly so when my son asks I would rather stick to the practical side of things (minus worms).

At that age, I talked to DD about “going to live with the angels”. I’m not religious at all but think it’s a nice thought that departed souls are looking over us. Whether it’s true or not is irrelevant, it’s something that gives some comfort.

You want to “stick to the practical side”. Will you also tell him there is no Santa, no tooth fairy? I don’t understand why people are so loathe to sugarcoat the worst of life experiences for little kids.

DD is now 9, we lost my grandma last year and she was devastated. She wouldn’t have been any less devastated if I had explained death in a “practical way” to her aged 2. Someone she loved was no longer there. She knew it was coming as Grandma was 96. You can’t shield them from loss but you can give comfort to help ease their pain.

DS was three when DH's gran died. We explained it in a practical, simple way, as recommended in many places. He struggled with the idea, but I think he would have struggled no matter how we'd told him.

My husband and I are atheists (though I probably edge more towards the agnostic), but DS has decided now that he believes in heaven and I don't contradict that.

"I shudder at the cruelty of poor atheists having to say to their kids that he’s buried in the ground, being eaten by worms and is gone forever"

Why would we say that? Regardless of religious beliefs that's what happens to the body (or more likely cremation, but I wouldn't explain that to a three year old either).

I shudder at the cruelty of poor atheists having to say to their kids that he’s buried in the ground, being eaten by worms and is gone forever

Personally I think it’s cruel to give anyone the idea that there’s a possibility of seeing their relative again when there so clearly isn’t ... and your comment about being in the ground eaten by worms applies to all who are buried.

From a poor atheist who has just put her husband in the cremator...

Can't you say her gone somewhere nice, but nobody knows where?