Death of a Pet

[Jens303]

I lost my beloved cat last week and am really really struggling to get on with life. She was unwell (bad heart) but did not suffer at the end so I have no guilt but she was my life & my husband always joked she was higher up in the pecking order than him.

Reading other people's thread's on here it seems silly as she was a pet and was only with me for 5 years but I miss her more than I can say and am struggling to hold it together during my work day & general life.

I pretty much go to work, concentrate on not bursting into tears every second of the day, go home & go to bed & cry.

Any tips on how to get through this would be appreciated. My husband has been no support at all.

I'm so sorry for the death of your cat. I know what you are feeling. I lost my childhood constant companion when I was 18 and it threw me completely off kilter for about a year. I can still cry, thinking about her now, 36 years later! Which is not to say that I carry the grief around with me all the time, but the trigger is there inside me, iykwim.

For you, it is early days. What you feel is normal and good. It means you loved your cat and had a bond with he4, and that is what makes living worth while, the bonds and love we have for people, animals, places. Sadly, with those bonds, come heartache also.

Be kind to yourself. As hard as it is, I would suggest you try to fill your days as best you can. Work is a distraction, but when you are not at work, try to find things to do so you are not thinking about your cat to the exclusion of all else. So, e.g., instead of sitting at home, perhaps you could go out to the cinema, or meet friends. Buy a box set, do some task that has been left undone too long. The key is to keep busy and distract yourself. You will still cry, but maybe less than if you were just at home thinking about your cat. Hugs to you.

Sorry for your loss. This was me 12 years ago. 12 years later it won't be long before it happens again. It's heartbreaking. I cried everyday, probably more often than I did for my df, although I still cry about him and not my cat. I think it's because they are with you all the time. I think you need to cry as much as you want. Is was only when I got another cat that I was able to move on.

thank you so much Frangipane - your words have really helped, your right i'm going to drag the Mr out to do things this week as he miss's her too

thank you - it's good to know i'm not being a crazy cat lady & my feelings are normal.

it's just very hard for it not to feel all consuming at the moment

Please dont worry about the strength of your feeling, its grief, and your pet has been with you day in day out, you loved them, cared for them - so of course you'll be feeling like this.

In terms of "keeping it together", try to let your feelings out when you can and give yourself plenty of time and space, make sure you have supportive peoples ear - pet owners tend to get it, though not all!