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Bereavement

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Trigger warning - what to say when

2 replies

Swimminguphill · 30/12/2018 16:56

Someone has been murdered.

Hi I’m really sorry to even be starting this thread. I found out that our family friend’s niece (who I never met) has recently been murdered by her partner. She was young, bright, beautiful. I really want to send them a note to let them know I am thinking of them and so sorry for their loss (is it even appropriate to say that?). They are good family friends, I looked after their children when they were babies and they have been devastated obviously by this terrible crime that has happened to their cousin. The parents were amazing when my dad died. Any advice you can give about what to say in this situation that won’t make things worse would be so helpful. Thanks.

OP posts:
echt · 31/12/2018 09:47

A letter saying all the things you've said here would be good, and I do mean letter. So few people do this, that its very format will bring comfort because you took the trouble.

Word it exactly as one would if a person died suddenly and in tragic circumstances.Clearly no need to mention murder. Dwell on her qualities.

Thanks

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Swimminguphill · 31/12/2018 11:33

Thanks echt. I was actually looking today for a card but couldn’t find one that didn’t seem trite.

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