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Original poster

My grandma died today and I don't have anyone much to reminisce with

22 replies

Hopeful8813 · 23/12/2018 20:46

My grandma died this afternoon which in many ways was a relief as she had suffered with dementia for years and after a series of strokes could not talk or move.

In a childhood which was really hard she was the creator of my best memories. She created in me a love for Jane Austen, history, poetry and cross stitch which I will take with me forever.

However I was her only grandchild and I am not close to my dad so I have very few people I can talk to about her and in many ways I am finding that hardest of all. I want to sit down with someone and talk about all those memories and laugh about all the funny things she did.

She was an amazing woman and the best grandmother and I miss her.

OP posts:
AmIAWeed · 23/12/2018 20:48

Tell us about her.
Can you remember what the first Jane Austen book you read together?

bychoiceornot · 23/12/2018 20:48

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I know one of the things many of us want to do more than anything when we lose someone we love, is to talk about them. Of course none of us here knew your Grandma, but please do share your stories and memories with us, if you feel up to it. I would love to hear about her.

Original poster
Hopeful8813 · 23/12/2018 20:58

Thank you both. It was P&P she first introduced me too, funnily enough I was listening to Austen on Audible when I got the phonecall today so that felt fitting.

She loved her food and drink, if she had a G&T it has very little T! She used to slice up apple and dip in cream for me when I was little (not something my parents were aware of)!

She was awful at charades, could not get the hang of the fact that you weren't allowed to talk which was hilarious. She loved Christmas and getting everyone involved in the games.

I spent most summers with her and we visited loads of National Trust properties, a big reason I think why I went on to study history at university. On rainy days we would put on an Austen adaptation or something like Room with a View and eat far too much ice cream.

She suffered badly from arthritis but it never stopped her from taking me fun places. I realise now she must have been in so much pain but she wouldn't let it affect our time together.

OP posts:
GrumpyOldMare · 23/12/2018 20:58

I'd also love to hear about her,too,if you'd like to tell us.

GrumpyOldMare · 23/12/2018 21:00

Awww she sounds just like my gran.Brought some lovely memories to mind of her,thank you.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/12/2018 21:01

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma, Hopeful, they have a special place for some of us. I miss mine every day. It's a testament to how much they're loved.

I'd like to hear more about what you and your grandma did together too. Bitter-sweet memories in future but for now, they'll reassure you that you won't forget her, ever.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks

IPokeBadgers · 23/12/2018 21:01

Sorry for your loss, please tell us more about her....do you have an absolute favourite memory you could share? What things do you have that will always make you think of her? X

AmIAWeed · 23/12/2018 21:04

She sounds like a fantastic grandmother, you must be so pleased to have had her in your life.
To inspire a passion in someone is a great gift, especially as like you said, with listening to a Jane Austen audible when you got the phone call it was fitting - you'll have reminders of her continually.
I'm sure for a long while those reminders will create all sorts of emotions, please do embrace them as you remember an inspirational woman.
Crack open the gin, hold the t x

Original poster
Hopeful8813 · 23/12/2018 21:04

Thank you all for your kindness :) She was a lethal driver I will admit, getting in a car with her was an act of bravery.

She was extremely generous and was always thinking of things people would enjoy. She had a huge friendship group and an active social life. As a teenager I would talk to her on the phone and she put me to shame with her poetry group, French club, swimming meetings, U3A and so many holidays. She really made the most of her retirement before her illness which I am glad of now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hopeful8813 · 23/12/2018 21:05

Not so much a favourite memory Badger but a series of memories. I loved our long weekend in Bruges when I was 16. Just wandering around exploring and chatting, it was lovely.

OP posts:
kshaw · 23/12/2018 21:10

I hope when I'm gone (hopefully in a long time!) someone speaks so kindly of me as you are of your gran! I miss mine everyday and as we're expecting a phone call any day about my grandad (he's been in hospital two weeks with pneumonia) this thread as made me quite emotional, in a nice way. Thinking of you and second the G&t!xx

Original poster
Hopeful8813 · 23/12/2018 21:15

Thank you kshaw :) I was short with her sometimes as a teenager as she could be frustrating at times and I wish I could undo that. I guess it's pretty normal for teenagers though so will try not to beat myself up.

When I was dumped by my ex (my first love) she sent me a letter saying that she remembered how that felt but that one day I would wake up and the sky would be a bit blue again and things would feel a bit better and each day would improve and she was very right.

OP posts:
AmIAWeed · 23/12/2018 21:19

I was a bit of a pain in the arse as a teen (major understatement!!!!)
The memory that has and always will stick in my mind was my Grandad telling me he was proud of me. It meant so much more than my own parents as, for me, Grandparents don't have to like you, or be there regardless like parents (one side does not approve of my life choices or talk to me!!) But knowing my Grandad was proud meant everything.
Without a doubt I am sure your Grandmother understood your teenage shortness, as simply that, teenagerness' and she could see the young lady in you - hence trips to Bruges!

whatsnewchoochoo · 23/12/2018 21:22

I love your posts about her, she sounds brilliant. It made me smile to hear about her, you clearly loved each other very much

Original poster
Hopeful8813 · 23/12/2018 21:23

Thank you weed :)

I must try and meet up with her old school friend. She came to my grandma's 80th and told tales of their travelling when they finished school. I have seen photos too and they had some amazing adventures.

My grandma was a bombshell, January Jones in Madmen looks just like her when she was young. The photos all have handsome young men in but then she met my Grandpa and that was that. They ended up eloping as her parents didn't approve (my grandpa was deaf).

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rugbychick1 · 23/12/2018 21:28

Sorry for your loss. She sounds a wonderful woman. I lost my grandmother 6.5 years ago, and miss her every day. She lived long enough to meet my DD.
She would have loved spending time with my DD and resent so much the cancer that caused her death and made her miss out on that

Original poster
Hopeful8813 · 23/12/2018 21:31

I am sorry rugby Flowers

I too am glad that my grandma met my DS and I have photos of her holding him which I can show him when he is older :)

OP posts:
FadedRed · 23/12/2018 21:37

She sounds fabulous, Hopeful, what lovely memories you have.
So sorry for your loss Flowers

Redgreencoverplant · 24/12/2018 08:08

Thank you all so much for listening to me last night, it meant a lot. Christmas Eve was always the day grandma would arrive laden with gifts, gin and smoked salmon so that's hard but she would want us to go ahead with enjoying ourselves and DS' excitement is infectious thankfully :)

Redgreencoverplant · 24/12/2018 08:08

Ha name change fail!!!!

bychoiceornot · 24/12/2018 21:55

I'm pleased it could bring you some comfort to talk about her, she sounds a wonderful woman, and she was clearly greatly loved.

1hello2hello · 24/12/2018 22:01

I'm sorry for your loss. She sounds wonderful.

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