Feeling like I can't function properly with grief

[Littlesparrowherenow]

I'm finding it so hard to keep going as I miss my mum so much.

I've a lovely family, but this time of year is so, so hard. I can't keep on jollying myself along much longer, want to sit and hibernate, and for someone to sweep in and take over the organisation of everything. Feel like I want to crumple up and cry...but can't.

Trying to distract myself and do little things and enjoy them but my body isn't tricked that easily. I feel so anxious and my stomach is churning so much.

I really want to cope, but finding it so difficult. Does anyone have any tips please? What helps you keep functioning?

I wish I had advice for you. I'm in the same boat, I could have written a lot of your post. Bumping in case anyone has any words of wisdom and sending you lots of love

Thank you twinklebee, it's really hard isn't it? Reassuring to know that I'm not alone x

Hoping you find a way to live with your grief too. Sending love and strength to you too.

I feel pretty similar & it's so exhausting. I just want the this last week of school runs out the way now so I don't have to put up such a front of normality. & hugs to you.

I’m with you. I have no answers but I understand.

You don't ' get over ' grief, but it gradually becomes easier to live with. It's just over 5 years for my mum and much longer for my Dad. Remember the happy times- it is perfectly normal for the years to come, but eventually you will remember those times with a smile of your face and not tears.

I wish I had advice for you but lik PP I'm the same. I don't have a partner or kids and my dad was my life. I only moved into my first house this week and I'm not even putting decorations up. I've bought gifts for family etc, but basically I'm patting myself on the back if I just manage to make it through each day
for you OP.

I’ve no comforting or wise words for you, but I fully understand & sympathise.
My lovely Mum died suddenly 11 weeks ago & every day I’m shocked that she’s gone.
She was so present in all of our lives & the fact that she won’t be here for Christmas is unthinkable.
Sending you love & hugs.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints know what you mean by putting on a front of normality, that's just it. It is exhausting. Reading everyone's posts though there are many if us that seem to have a similar normality at the moment. 💐

Ocies sending 💐too, and Victoria Bun what you say is so true, I know that. Thank you 💐Think I just feel worse as I was beginning to feel better a couple of weeks ago and as if I was coping. Trying to remember all the lovely memories is just so hard when I look at my little one and knowing how much mum would have loved to spend time with her, especially at this time of year. Just raw again x

Pink Buffalo, you do right. Sending you strength and 💐 too.

Inmyownlittlecorner sending you love and hugs too. Must be so very raw for you and I know how unimaginable it seems x take care and look after yourself the best you can.

Thank you to everyone who's posted. I don't feel so alone...💐 To everyone.

My heart goes out to you all.I lost my DF.16 months ago.Last year was tough however there were normal moments too.This year I feel like a shell has developed around me.We have gone through a Christmas without him and we will again.Obviously it is harder for DM married to him for 52 years so that is difficult.
The first are the hardest.I am sorry.
Keep busy and sleep.when you need to.It will get easier.X

The first is hard but I expected it to be hard, I think I expected the second to be easier and it's kind of not, because this is the new "normal", without my Dad. And everyone was kind of aware it was the first Christmas without him, but this year everyone expects it/me to be back to "normal". And I am, on the outside, but the inside is a scrumpled mess. I don't know anyone else in the same boat so it does feel very lonely.

whatisforteamum thank you 💐 I know what you mean about a shell developing around you, and yes keeping busy and sleeping are both so important. Take care.

KingBobra, I am so sorry you are feeling like this, and I empathise 💐 a scrumpled mess sums up how I feel too at times.

Trying to carry on being 'normal' is almost impossible as our normal isn't...I think it's trying to come to terms with the change and vast chasm that's left when someone close dies. Finding a new normal is so hard. As you say, when everyone seems to carry on and when there's no one in the same boat it is lonely and difficult. 💐 Thinking of you. Take care.

I've come to the realisation this year that Christmas will never be like my childhood memories, and I will never feel a mothers love again, and the many small things she did, showing me she knew me and loved me. It seems to have floored me this time round. I'm trying to keep busy and make new traditions with my family, but its almost as if I'm going through the motions. I'm hoping that by trying to enjoy Christmas as my mum would want me to with our little one, that I will hopefully feel enjoyment of the day again.