Help/advice needed

[Ceecee3940]

Hi im new on to here my friend recommend so here i am.....some of my story November last year my DS was killed in RTA he was 13 (i was there i watched it happen he died at scene). Anyway we as a family picked ourselves up and tried to get on i thout we was doing ok but i was wrong i was looking throu DD messages and found a coversation were she told friend she wanted to kill herself to be with her brother....what do you do with that as a parent???? (Head blown) Iv took her docs this morning there refering her to counceling.....but im lost....so was wondering if anyone else has been thro this or dealing with same kind of issues any help advice or friend much appriciated 🙂

I'm so sorry for your loss. Have you tried Winston's Wish? They may be able to help your daughter. I'm sorry I don't have better advice.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

I haven't got any suggestions but I'd guess counselling as a first step. I hope someone else will come on with more concrete advice.

I’m very sorry about your son. Life can be so cruel

It may be worth asking yourself or perhaps even your DD herself whether this is an expression of grief that she would not act upon or if it is indicative of a more generalised depression (albeit brought on by the death of her DB). Is she struggling in other areas? School? Sleep, eating self harm?

If yes to the latter then GP/CAMHS is another route you could take. But certainly counselling through one of the bereavement charities is a good first port of call.

Lastly, are you gettting support yourself? This will be key in your supporting DD.

Good luck x

Hi thank you all for help......we went for visit with camhs crisis team they want to see her again in new year to see were she at and see what level of care she needs.......iv spoken to her about this and dont think were at self harming stage think i managed to catch it quick.
Me i have very little support if im honest my friend is my biggest support...my OH tells me to stop mopping and go to work cause the best thing to do

I'm so sorry. Children's grief is sometimes secretive. They often don't share with parents, I hope her friends are supportive. I suspect she's relieved that you've found out how she feels. We're coping with loss of a different type and I think that at times they don't want to bother us with their feelings when things are improving a bit. You sound really strong and you've done everything right for her. Grief's a long term process and I suppose that everyone deals with it differently. Christmas is a tough time too. I really hope you can get through it, it's bound to be difficult, just keep reassuring her and take care of yourself too

Sorry, I didn’t take in the bit about seeing the doc in your OP. Good that you got an urgent Camhs appointment though and a follow up one on the horizon.

Young minds have a helpline and online resources youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/

Also, might be something of use for you and your DD here: childbereavementuk.org/for-families/info-sheets/

And I have found some helpful bits on this site before too:
www.careforthefamily.org.uk/family-life/bereavement-support