Keep Dreaming of Mom

[ChillUrBeans]

Mom died 7 weeks ago (unexpected and suddenly) and at least a couple of nights a week I dream of her. Thing is in my dream I know she shouldn't be there and I know she is going to die and then she does (although don't think I dream of her actually dying) and then I feel like I have lost her all over again. Last night it made me sob so hard in my sleep I woke up with such a start and then couldn't stop crying all morning.

My sister wishes she could dream of her but I don't want to anymore, I just want it to stop, how long does this sort of thing last for?

Same thing happened to me when my mum died, I sort of found it a comfort until I woke up. It does lessen with time as you become more able to live with her loss. Having said that my mum died decades ago and I still have the odd dream.

Thanks Glass. I could handle dreaming of her I think its the knowing she is dying again in my dream that is messing with my head. I spose it hasn't been long and maybe leading up to Christmas is making it harder. Nice to know that its not just me though and it will lessen eventually.

yes I also had lots of dreams about my mum when she died. It's been a few years now and the odd one still pops into my head. I do think it's normal, especially when the death is sudden and a shock. Take care of yourself. I think a lot more about my mum near Christmas time too.

You may find the nature of the dreams change, at the moment you are focusing on the death, as time goes by it may just be normal interactions you dream about. When I dream about my mum now I find it reassuring that I see her as she was, not ill. I find it hard to remember her consciously, just seeing her in photo image, but in a dream I can hear her, see how she moved and I am happy that she is still there in my head.

Are you able to talk and think about her when you are awake? Sometimes dreams help us sort out feelings that are not processed in real life. You could try ignatia, homeopathic remedy for grief, but it's early days and this will change or pass. Sorry for your loss.

Thank you everyone. Yes missing I do talk about her a lot, to the kids and to my dad and my sister. I found out last night that even though my dad and sister are still not back at work so are spending everyday together they are not talking to each other about her unless I am there, which I found really sad.
I guess people are right that it is the nature and timing of her passing that is maybe playing on my mind and coming out in my dreams.

As upsetting as your dreams are now, hold on to them as they become less frequent in time and can, oddly be a source of comfort. I don't say this in the "get a grip/count your blessings" mode.

My DH's death was sudden and unexpected. My DD and I had similar dreams, where he would be in them and we knew he was dead but he didn't. We wondered where to tell him. He appeared sheepish and a bit, well, dim. In life he was the reverse of all these things.

I'd gag to dream of him at all now

Chill

My DM died suddenly in a car accident. When I did dream of her, a few weeks later, it was to dream that she was still alive and I vividly remember wakening and hoping that the dream was right and it had all been some ghastly mistake. But the dreams do become a comfort. I wish that I dreamed about my DM more, but they seem to have stopped now.

This happened to me too, I had dreams of my father collapsing and trying to save him.
I read somewhere that seeing them in your dreams is their way of saying hello to you, try to remember that and treasure it. My nightmares have stopped and he just appears peacefully now

I dreamed of my mum after she died and it was comforting. A friend of mine had a lovely dream about her husband after he died and it had the same effect on her.

It will stop. I'm so sorry you've lost your mum. x