Attending a wedding after a funeral

[SnobblyBobbly]

My young niece died unexpectedly 4 days ago and her funeral is next week. The following week I am maid of honour at my best friends wedding.

Having spent a week at the hospital, I’m currently dealing with the funeral home on behalf of my sister in prep for the funeral, but also have things I need to do for the wedding like prepare a speech - which I have been thinking of but probably should have written down sooner - I’ve also been asked to set up a video tribute which involves me going to the venue and setting things up.

I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less at the moment. I also don’t want to have everyone asking me questions, and have our family tragedy overshadow the wedding day. I think these feeling are also compounded by the fact that my friend hasn’t phoned me to see how my sister is or how I am......we actually aren’t that close anymore and I think this situation has magnified that.

I just want to hide away with my family at the moment.

I know my judgement is probably clouded by tiredness and mixed emotions too - how can I manage the things I need to do to cause the least disruption to everyone involved?

I think you need to speak to the bride today, and say that owing to this bereavement you can only attend her wedding as a guest - tell her rehabs the things you have written in your opening post about the huge shock and sadness and how your family need you over the coming days.

One of the other bridesmaids can do the weddingy things that are wanted, or the bride an go without (her choice). You could still go to the wedding, without being part of the bridal party. Everyone will understand why in these circumstances