Coping with the run up to Christmas when you miss someone so very very much

[MrsGrindah]

Anyone got any tips? I’m dreading it but there’s no escaping it. I don’t want to ruin other people Christmas with my sorrow but equally I know I can’t hide it. Feel so very alone and basically dreading it

It’s my first Christmas without my very much loved and missed mum. I’m changing how we spend the day. We will go out to the forest or beach and change other littl bits whilst keeping some of her traditions.

Who will you be spending it with? I’m not sure how I will cope tbh. I’m finding it really tough at the moment. It’s 4 months since she died and so very very hard.

I’m sorry you’re going through this

Thankyou. I lost my Dad four months ago and my Mum fairly recently too so first Christmas without them. Will be hosting my husbands family so will feel “ orphaned” even though I’m a big girl now! I’m planning on keeping it simple and maybe going for a walk on my own so I get to escape a bit.

I'm in the same position as you both - my sympathies. Mum died in May and I'm dreading Christmas - this time last year she'd just gone into hospital after falling ill with pneumonia following a diagnosis of acute myeloid leukaemia.

We're going to my aunt and uncle's and it will be lovely, but probably very emotional. I will also be pre-menstrual around then so god knows what I'll be like!

I came home tonight to a fundraising mailout from a leukaemia charity, going on about how hard Christmas is when you're facing it with blood cancer and it was the straw that broke the camel's back after a shitty day at work - I was in pieces and I've since emailed the charity to question their logic in sending something like that out, when many of their supporters know exactly how bloody hard it is.

I'm honestly looking forward to it all being over, and starting the new year.

I’m so sorry for your losses.

I found the build up to the day was much worse than the day itself. Be kind to yourself, it will come and it will go x

My mum died of leukaemia and I’m seeing references to it everywhere.

MrsGrindah I think planning in some just you time is great. I know it sounds selfish but I don’t want to see anyone else’s mum on Christmas Day. Obviously if my in laws would have been on their own then I’d have invited them but I was really pleased when they had an early invitation to sil’s.

It’s my youngest’s first Christmas so ther is a happiness there. But he never got one with his Grandma.

My mum died last year, last Christmas was my first and I couldn't do anything that was remotely festive. Seeing Christmas aisles in supermarkets in October had me in tears and Christmas night I had a huge meltdown I just couldn't cope without her at her favourite time of the year.

Be gentle with yourself and try to avoid places you know are festive and dart around the Christmas aisles. There's no way to completely avoid it but you will get through it.

This year I'm having a tree and I'm honouring my mum by 'doing Christmas' it's not as raw but it feels very different. My thoughts are with you, it's a very hard time of year for so many of us missing our loved ones.