Can’t live without my dad.

[Sarah2302]

6 months ago I lost my dad to lung cancer after battling for a year. He was my best friend, the person who loved me the most ( at least I thought so) . I miss him so much and I’m really struggling with life at the moment. I’ve still got my mum, although she has M.S so I worry about her and have my ray of sunshine my little girl who is 2. My partner is not hugely supportive and friends don’t understand how I’m feeling as they all have there parents. I’ve tried 2 different antidepressants but they make my thoughts strange so can’t take them and I can’t sleep on them. I don’t know how to live without my dad, I saw him everyday, everyday is just a struggle. He dealt with cancer really baldly , he was so heartbroken, he didn’t want to die. I feel like I’m carrying his pain now, my heart is broken. I sat with him in hospital every spare moment and was with him when he died, the image of his face is always on my mind, why did this happen to him, he didn’t smoke he was healthy. I’m so unhappy in my life right now.

So sorry you're going through this just wanted to offer a handhold and please private message me if you ever want to talk. I lost my Dad in May after a 6month battle with prostate cancer, he was only 55, and your relationship with your dad sounds identical to mine. He really my best mate and kicked life's ass. Words can't describe how much I miss him think about him every minute. Xx

I'm so sorry for what you are going through I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you-I just wanted you to know that you have been heard,and someone is thinking of you (even if I am a complete stranger and far,far away!) I struggled with depression though,and I found the pills didn't really help-just take one day at a time,one step at a time even x

Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad on wednesday morning, he got diagnosed with cancer 6 days before. I cant quite believe it yet. Im 27 years old so all of my friends except one still have both of there parents and feel noone can relate. Im also 28 weeks pregnant, everyone is telling me to look after the bump, all i want to do is cry. I guess im just letting you know this so you know your not alone. It is the worst feeling in the world xx

My dad was 70 and I’m 35, he had a good life up until the diagnosis so I should be great full we had that time together. I’m great full for your replies. I have just stopped my second attempt at antidepressants and feel rotten and alone. Nobody knew I took them so have been hiding the side effects. I’m finding grief to be a very lonely experience. Mothertobe789 I’m sorry to read about your dad and being pregnant also must be so so hard. I was about 2 weeks pregnant when my partners dad died, we had just done the test the day before. It was a very hard time, I lost a lot of weight and had to have a lot of extra scans but luckily didn’t effect my little girl. Then at 6 months old my dad got his diagnosis. I was hoping that somehow my dad could see me suffering and help me but I don’t feel him at all, he’s just gone.

I am so sorry for your loss OP.

I lost my Dad a little over 19 years ago, I was 23. Like you I was bereft and felt like I couldn't carry on but, as the cliche says, time is a great healer.

You don't 'get over it' but you gradually learn to accept your new life and the pain does diminish. You'll find a time when you can look back and remember with a smile, without feeling as though someone has stuck a dagger in your heart.

Don't get me wrong, I still miss my Dad everyday and often feel angry at the stuff he's missed like my wedding, his grandchildren, my graduating (twice) and so on.

I keep him alive in our family by talking about him often and sharing stories and photos of him. I tell my children what my Dad and I used to get up to and the places we'd go.

It does get easier and the first year is the hardest. For me I buried his loss deep inside and it was 9 months after his death before I properly broke down and grieved. Before that I think my brain shut away the information as I wasn't strong enough to deal with it at the time.

You'll get there OP. Don't feel bad for grieving and missing your Dad.