Oh no, been asked to "say a few words"

[necromumda]

This isn't the eulogy, there is a section for anyone from the family to say something. Has anyone done this? How long do I have to speak for? I am the daughter in law and feel I don't know that much to say!

Sorry for your loss if you have children maybe you could speak for them and how much the person meant to them

Could you do a reading?

Have you a 'story' you can tell that shows him in a good light?

Eg my fil 'rescued' me from an inconsiderate housemate in the run up to my university degree finals by feeding me each night and putting me up in his spare room.

So I'd say that X always treated people with kindness and would go out of his way to help, I remember way back when dh and I were newly together and he rescued me blahblahblah.

Do you think a poem would work? I have no idea if this should be a 5 minute thing or longer?

Just introduce yourself and your relationship with the deceased (for none family members). A funny/heartwarming anecdote and then a bit about how welcome he made you to the family, and how you will think of him fondly whenever you eat a hobnob (or whatever his favourite thing was) or see his chair. A couple of minutes, maximum.

It is a lovely thing to be asked to do, and it is nice to take a bit of time to reflect on what he was like and how he has impacted your life and your relationship with your husbands side of the family.

Hit post too soon.

I would keep it brief, personal and 'light'.

I'm sorry for your loss xx

Thanks so much all. It's not that I don't want to do it. Its that I want to do it justice and am worried it won't be good enough.

Two minutes is a long time to speak for. Don't worry about hitting a particular target. Rather say something heartfelt about what the person meant to you than rattle on for ages.

Is this a person you were very close to?

hollowtalk sort of yes and no. My Father in Law so close but that "i law" distance.

CorporeSarnie thanks so much, that really helps :)

You're welcome. I lost my DM just a month ago, and knowing what to say without dissolving was very very hard.

Yes, aim for two minutes. Google some funeral poems to see if there's one that reminds you of him, or that you think he'd have liked.

'Remember Me' by Christina Rossetti got me through my FIL's funeral.

All went ok, thanks xx

The vicar actually made a bit stuff up and left out the family section of the church ceremony so my DH er, approached him and told him that I would be doing the poem at the crematorium. It actually was a lot better there as it was more intimate so was all ok in the end.