@MartaTam thanks for your response, what a lovely reply!
@ParkheadParadise I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through, I am totally aware that as sad as the situation is with my sister, losing a child and particularly as you have said in tragic circumstances is entirely different. Of course you have to continue because of your DD2, thank you for being so honest and sending love and strength to you.
@echt I am also sorry for your loss. Yes I appreciate what you say that life keeps going on and other things don't stop happening or turning out better because of the loss. I hope that you manage to find some peace which sounds trite but isn't meant to be at all.
@jellycat1 sorry about your sis. You've done well not to be crying, I'm such a cry baby at the best of times and I seem to be constantly on the verge of tears. Children are a wonderful distraction and of course focusing on your niece is paramount.
@Omega16 I think that is true about raw grief. I'm finding it hard to get my head around it all, even though I knew she was terminal for 2.5 years and I knew when she had little time left. That does make sense about steps forward and steps back, even though is it early days I find I'm having moments like that already.
Thanks all for your comments. I don't have much of an outlet to talk about how I feel apart from with DH and DD1. I'm concentrating on supporting my niece and nephew (luckily they are both grown-ups) and my elderly parents who are in their 80s, so I don't feel I can really talk to any of them about how I'm feeling.
My sister was a very positive person and before she died she told me that I could be sad for a little while and then I needed to be happy, but I just never realised how deeply felt the sadness would be, mad as that sounds!