Advice on a card or other for someone who's just lost a baby?

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

There's a mum I'm loosely friends with, we've been for coffee and food a few times and saw each other weekly at a class. She has a child roughly the same age as mine. Since I've gone back to work in the last month we've talked less but still once or twice a fortnight.

She was pregnant with her second but baby was delivered by emcs at 37 weeks this week. Baby was born with a serious health problem that was only identified last week and didn't make it. I'm heartbroken for her, I really want to do something but I don't know what. Obviously a card, something food wise as we always commiserate on our hatred of cooking but I was thinking an m&s voucher for something nice to eat or a just eat voucher as I know she loves a good takeaway. I just don't know what to do!

Has anyone got any advice or been there and willing to say what might have been a pinprick of light in an otherwise utterly shit time? I know nothing I do can make any real difference I just don't want to do nothing!

I think it's just a terribly difficult situation to talk about and unless you have been there very difficult to think of the impact it would have on someone's life. Not just at the time but forever. It gets easier but there will always be Christmases and Birthdays and daily you will see a child about the age they would be and wish you had that. It's a lot to think about. Even maintaining a grave is heart wrenching. Worrying about the small amount of things you have of theirs and whether it's safe.

Whenever your friend feels upto it i would highly recommend them attending a sands (or other baby loss support group). Being around people that have lived through it is so therapeutic.

Thank you for sharing, I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child, I've lost close family members over the years and had a miscarriage so I know grief and loss but a child is something different. I've made a note in my calendar of the baby's birthday to make sure I message friend next year and was looking at those name a rose gifts for her as she's finally got a garden after wanting for years.