I dont know what to do

[Mailfuckoff]

At the weekend my mum passed away. It was sudden and unexpected and I'm still in shock. Luckily we got to the hospital in time and got a chance to say goodbye. Work have said I don't need to go in but I don't know what to do. My dad needs support but I live the furthest away and my siblings are there with him. I've said I will help out with anything and I think I'm an executor of the will. I'm in my 30's and my mum in her 50's and I have no idea what to do. It seems wrong just to sit and watch TV but I can't face the world. Any advice?

I am so sorry for your loss. I've never been in your position, but I would say that you should do whatever you need to do to get through the days at the moment. There is nothing wrong in watching TV or reading a book - or anything really, if it helps you. Take care of yourself

You say that you live away from your Dad - I'd suggest that you should go to see him. Don't just say that you'll help if he needs you - you really do need to go now and spend time with him. There are things to do, like organising the funeral and looking at the will if you are executor. And you need to spend time with him and your siblings. It's all part of the grieving process - you might not feel like facing the world but your Dad does need to spend time with you .

Sorry to sound so blunt but you can't just sit down and watch TV at this time. Actually getting up and doing things is the best thing you can do.

Go and spend some time with your dad and siblings. It is important to be together.

I am so very sorry to hear about your Mum 💐. My Dad died suddenly and reasonably ‘young’ (64) and several years later the shock really hasn’t gone, but the intense grief does eventually lessen x

Is there a reason you haven’t gone to see your Dad? (Like children in school & no one to care for them?). If not, just go. They might not feel they can ask you to go up, but I’m sure they’d all like you to be there (unless you don’t get on of course).

Look after yourself x

We went Monday, stayed at home yesterday as I was plain exhausted. I do have young kids so need to be around after school hours to support them. I'm goi g to see dad now

Please don't take this the wrong way but it's important to share the responsibility of sorting everything out & supporting your dad with your siblings - it is also comforting to be together during this initial grieving period

I'm so sorry about your mum - it's never easy but suddenly & so young must be so hard

As hard as it is ( and it will bring comfort to you) try to go to your family. You will probably cry as a family and reminisce about your mum and that is exactly what you need. Sorry for your loss.