Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Ive lost my precious mum

13 replies

Ohwhatsoccuring · 08/09/2018 15:26

I just need to voice. I lost my Mum on the 2nd of August. She had major surgery in April and was in hospital from then onwards. She had every complication you could think of, including paralysis caused by the op. She fought and fought and was getting better, we would have coped with the paralysis, she would still have had a life.
Then she caught a massive infection and went downhill very quickly. The doctors decided that withdrawing treatment was the right option as they were supporting her 100%.
They turned the support off and she died 10 minutes later, both my brother and I were with her. Watching her go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I am still numb, the funeral passed in a blur, I still dont think ive accepted that she has gone.
I live away and spent every wknd travelling to the hospital, then coming back and working all wk.
I lost my Dad 18 mths ago and was still coming to terms with that when this happened.

Within the last 18 mths I have lost both parents, left a long term relationship, moved house with my 3 young children and changed jobs. I honestly dont know whether I am coming or going.

My ex has been great with the kids but I have no-one where I live. My brother lives where my mum did but has his own problems.

I really need to get my act together, my house is a mess, im not eating properly and just want to sleep to block it all out.
I dont know what to do to move forward. She was my best friend and Im so lost without her.

Im sorry for the saga but really needed to offload.

OP posts:
VelociraptorRex · 08/09/2018 15:35

OP I'm so sorry for your loss Thanks I lost my mum a few years ago and it's so hard. Never be sorry for feeling down, mums are part of your identity and it's important to mourn them. Do you want to talk about her?

Singlenotsingle · 08/09/2018 15:35

Sorry for your loss OP. Flowers

Ohwhatsoccuring · 08/09/2018 16:30

Thank you
Its such a hard time, I find it difficult to motivate myself to do anything. Im trying so hard not to crumble.

Ive tidied and cleaned the lounge so thats a start, I feel like ive achieved something.
Im just so so exhausted and dizzy all the time its difficult.

OP posts:
VelociraptorRex · 08/09/2018 16:42

Make sure you try and keep eating, even just a little bit, it can be easy to forget. Do you have any support around you?

Bubblemagic11 · 08/09/2018 16:49

Sorry for your loss , please take your time with things and don't pressurise yourself x

Ohwhatsoccuring · 08/09/2018 18:22

No, no support, just me and the kids. Ex supports them which is good.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 08/09/2018 18:23

I'm sorry for your loss OP Flowers

Rudgie47 · 08/09/2018 18:27

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mum OP, just take each day one day at a time.
Eventually you will feel better but it does take ages.

Ohwhatsoccuring · 24/11/2018 08:45

Just needed to write some stuff down.
It's now November and Christmas is looming. Christmas is hard anyway as it's when my dad died, this year without my mum either is going to be unbearable.
I'm still struggling massively with it all but counselling waiting lists are long.

I had a dream last night that it was all a mistake and she didn't die after all. We were trying to get the money back for the funeral as it was all a mistake.
I woke up thinking oh it's ok she didn't die after all, and then remembered.

I will get through Christmas for my kids but I just feel so alone.

OP posts:
JULESFH · 24/11/2018 22:44

I'm so sorry for your losses and yes Christmas coming up doesn't make things any easier.
It sucks when you don't h

JULESFH · 24/11/2018 22:45

Have much support round. Try and talk here if it helps xx

starrynight19 · 24/11/2018 22:50

So sorry for your loss op.
I lost my mum quite quickly when I was 24.
I am now 17 years down the line and I have learned to live with it. It becomes less raw but never leaves you.

Your kids will be a massive help as they will force you to keep going and put a game face on.
Time really does help just take it one day , maybe do something different this year.
But don’t be worried about being sad and acknowledging your parents , just take it as it comes.

Ohwhatsoccuring · 25/11/2018 08:58

Thank you so much for replying, it means a lot.
My children are amazing and miss her so much too, they didn't even get to say goodbye as she was too poorly.
They have been through so much, my little one tells me all the time that she will never forget me as if she thinks I will go next.

Sunday's are the hardest day as it's when I would talk to my mum, being so far away from her was hard especially after my dad died as I felt I couldn't help her enough.

I know I have to go there at Christmas to start sorting through her things but I don't know if I can do it x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread