My husband has died.

[Soulsercher]

Hi all im new here. But hopeing i can get some advice from others who have gone through it. My husband died suddenly in July. I was on the phone to him 2 hours earlier and he was fine. Because he wasnt ill they have had to do a post mortem but couldnt find anything wrong so have taken samples to run more tests but it could take up to 6months to get an answer to why. We have a daughter who was 8 in August and its so hard not being able to tell her when she asks if we know what happend yet. And although she will talk about him with me she wont discuss her feelings incase it upsets me. I hope she is coping ok and not hiding things to protect me (she is very very protective now even when im walking down stairs or crossing a road). Has anyone been through something similar?

I am so sorry for your loss.
Please get in touch with CRUSE. They can help you and give you advie about how to help your daughter.

www.cruse.org.uk/

Also WAY www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/

I hope you have friends and family to support you.

I am so sorry for your loss

Winstons Wish will be able to help your daughter. They help and support children and their families who have been bereaved. She will be able to talk through her feelings etc without worrying that she's upsetting you.

I am sorry I don't know how to do a link but Google will find it straight away for you.

They are amazing and help so many children.

I'm so sorry about your loss. It's still very much early days so you must both be hurting so much.

It might be worth asking if there's a family support team at your local hospice as they work with children who have experienced loss (even if there was no hospice care involved). They often run groups for children as well as offering one-to-one sessions. Your daughter might open up in that situation and talk about how she feels with their trained support workers especially if she sees other children there who have been through similar losses.

So sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry lass.

So sorry for your loss OP, it must be so hard wondering how to help your DD whilst obviously grieving deeply yourself.

Maybe just letting her know that it's ok to feel sad and cry sometimes might help? Would her school have any support she could access?

I hope someone who's been through similar will come by to advise.

Sorry for your loss . No advice but sending hugs.

I'm so sorry for your loss and your daughters loss - it must be so hard when you don't know the reason why! Thinking of you

Thank you all.
I have spoken to a support group where i live that i have heard great things abouy however when i said dd has asked to talk to someone they said they domt do it for a few months after the death so that they can grieve themselves. I dont get it. If a child says they need someone to talk to, surely you try to help them?
It is so so hard. Not knowing whats happend. The funeral is on friday but it still isnt proper closure

Your poor DD is probably worried in case she loses you too. Would it be worth letting the school know what's happened, just in case she needs a bit of support?

I am so sorry for your loss @Soulsercher. My DH died 2 years ago, not quite so suddenly, we had 4 terminal months. I have some idea of how you will be feeling and all I can say is take one day, one hour, at a time. Also I can not recommend WAY (widowed and young) highly enough. There are local groups and a very active face book group, where you will find many people who can help with shared experience and advice on the specific questions you're asking. Love and hugs to you and DD. Xxx

Sorry for your loss, may I recommend CHUMS? My DS 7 is under them following the sudden loss of his Daddy.

We had a meeting with our assigned lady within a month of his passing and she sees him during school hours every couple of weeks now. They work through a grief workbook.

Be kind to yourself x