I want my mum :(

[LadyFlumpalot]

Long thread here:

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lifelimitingillness/3271606-total-bowel-obstruction-and-ovarian-cancer-advice

DM passed away 6 weeks ago now and I miss her so so much. I often went a month or two without any real contact aside from the odd text, but this is so final, so complete.

I just want my mum so so badly. I can't stop crying today. My DD starts school on Wednesday and it's so fucking unfair that all the other Grandmas get to see their first day photos. It's not fair. I want her.

I can't cope. My shiny new house (that she'll never see) is a shithole, I can't find the energy to get off my arse. I have to take DS to an eye appointment in a bit and I don't know how I'll manage the drive. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.

My dad died in March. I grew up with just him from the age of 12 so he was my everything.

There’s no advice I can give except just give yourself time. Find something that helps you (yoga helped me - any gentle exercise would be good)

Sleep when you can. Grief is exhausting and affects you physically and mentally.

If you genuinely can’t manage the drive today just cancel and go another time. X

My mother died shortly before I gave birth to my eldest. Like you we were fairly low contact. Its been a long time since I last thought of her. Give yourself some time. It hasn't been very long.

I'm sorry OP. I lost my mum 4 years ago. I was heartbroken when DS1 started school last year and found it hugely difficult that she wasn't around to see him. At only 6 weeks on you must be all over the place.

You're still at the "one foot in front of the other" stage, and a messy house, extreme tiredness and a sense of despair are part of that. Day to day life does get easier but there will probably always be times when you just want and need to have a huge cry.

Well I made it to the hospital and back. Have sent DC to separate bedrooms as they just cannot stop fighting at the moment. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Thank you for your words and I'm sorry for your losses.