I really miss my Mum

[smilysmilysmily]

First post on here...

I lost my Mum 5 years ago when I was 21. She had been ill for a long time, (10+years) when she passed away in a hospice. Me and my brothers and my Dad were all there rallying around for the last few weeks.

My boyfriend is my rock and support; and encourages me to talk about her and show him videos etc (he never met her)

But my friends at the time helped as best they could, but the majority just left me be and didn't interact with me as I presume they weren't sure how to. My best friend is a star who has has helped me immeasurably, but she went out at the weekend and I got so upset thinking I just wish I could do that with my Mum.

I find myself being irrationally jealous about hearing my friends outings with their Mums and feel angry when they talk about their 'Mums being stupid" or not pandering to their whims.

I just miss her so much, and everyone told me it would get easier but it hasn't.

I'm sorry its more of a rant than anyhting else, I just needed to say this all

No words of wisdom I'm afraid but I know how you feel.
I lost my mum 5 years ago too although the circumstances were a bit different as it was sudden and I'm a fair bit older than you.
I feel like I shouldn't have still needed my mum at my age but I take comfort from the fact that she was not only a great mum and also my friend which to some extent explains why I feel her loss still.

I still miss my mum and totally understand the irrational jealousy, my boss is almost 70 and still has his mum....and moans about her!

Aww bless you. My dad died when I was 12 and I still miss him (I'm in my 30s). It does get easier but you never forget and always miss them. I used to be jealous of people whose parents "only" divorced! Irrational but true. Hopefully it can bring you closer to your dad though?

Thank you for your replies, I'm sitting at home and working and its just nice to hear words from those who have an understanding of what im feeling

halfeatentoast - Kind of, he remarried very quickly, within 6 months so have now got an extended "step" family so in honesty it hasn't I have with my brothers though

Oh sweetheart heart. I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm currently sitting here sobbing for my mum. She was still is my best friend. Its like physical ache. All that it gets easier is a load of rubbish. I know it's said with good intentions but people lie to you,don't they.
.

I lost my mum at the same age as you, she and also been ill for a couple of years before hand. I felt like I lost my mum and best friend at the same time. I found those first few years so hard. I wouldn't say it gets easier just that you learn to live with it.

I'm now 41, have two children of my own and often still think of my mum and the things she has missed in my life. It is hard to see others not appropriate still having their parents bit then family relationships can be hard. I'm not close to my dad and he remarried a couple of years after my mum died, probably doesn't help we don't get on that well either she's a bit stubborn.

Appreciate having their parents. That is.

I know just how you feel. I lost my Mum just over three years ago, I got pregnant six months later and I really struggle with the fact she never knew about or met my boys. I feel irrationally jealous when I see my friends kids spending time with their grandparents or getting support from their mums, I find it so hard. I don’t have any words of wisdom but wanted you to know you’re not alone x

May I give you a different perspective, Smiley? My late mother was a selfish, unloving, narcissistic shit. I don’t miss her one tiny bit and would gladly dance on her grave.
I actually envy your grief - because you had a mum who loved you.
You have loads of happy memories of a decent human being who nurtured you, raised you, gave you her time and affection, was interested in your doings, and proud of you.
Your grief is the price you’re paying for all that love. But at least you had it, and nobody can take away your memories. Cherish all those good times. Celebrate your lovely mum’s life. Continue to make her proud of you.
And to slightly paraphrase the old Gaelic blessing “ Until you meet your mum again, May God keep her in the hollow of His hand”.
Take care, OP. My prayers that your grief will ease with time. God bless.

I miss both my parents and I'm 48!
My mum died 5 years ago too and I just thought the other day, " oh I'll just ring mum and tell her..."

I still miss my dad who died 21 years ago. I get the jealousy thing. I felt it wasn't fair that he didn't get to go to my wedding or meet my children.

It does get easier, I just don't think you ever completely stop missing them. It comes in waves.

Bereavent of someone close changes you.

no words will bring you comfort .im crying just at the title of your post. Your very young to have lost your mum and all I can do is send a virtual hug. wish I could do more to ease your pain xxxxx

Thank you all for such lovely messages - I'd just like you to know you all really helped me on one of my bad days. Someone I know said it was like waves that eventually become easier to ride, but they still hit hard - and you're words were very kind