Last bits of mums

[QueenOfIce]

My mum died 18 months ago, for a long while the tray with all my mums toiletries that were by her beside were put away. There was hand cream, face cream lip balm all had shiny tops that had her fingerprints on them.

Every time I visited dad ( a few times a week) I'd quietly go to the tray and pick up the lip balm and use a little bit and touch the pot of cream gently it made me feel close to mum again.

I visited dad and the tray had gone, I asked where it was he told me he thrown it all away. I burst into tears which upset dad as he had no idea that I was going to find them each time I visited.

I feel stupidly crushed and angry. It's so silly.

not silly at all to feel this way

Not silly at all.
Grief is this. It trips you up when you are not expecting it to.
Be kind to yourself.

Thank you, I feel like it's the 'last' of mum. The last things she touched and now I will never see them again. I wish my dad would stop chucking things out!

Of course, it upset you, you're grieving. Can you imagine, though, how your dad must have felt- losing his wife of many years (his friend, confidante, companion), and seeing her things on the bedside table when he's alone in their bed?

Is there anything else you've got that belonged to your mum? When my mum died, I didn't want my dad to have the upset of living with and having to sort through her stuff. I packed things up, took them to a charity shop miles away. I kept the last present I ever bought her - a dressing-gown, and had it for about a year (it didn't fit me, but I just wanted it)and then felt able to let it go.

I've got my mum's engagement and wedding rings, on a chain. I wore that for 6 months, then kept it in my jewellery box. Perhaps you could have something of your mum's at your house to keep close by?

Not silly at all. My mum had been passed for over 5 years , I still have her glasses, handbag, and a few items of clothes alongside her house keys. But the truth is the memory of her is in you .

They weren't on her bedside lynne they had been put away. I have a few bits of hers it's just the fact they were the last things she touched and they still had her visible fingerprints.

I'll get over it, just really upset me at the time.

That's really sad. I feel sad just reading that so you must be super sad living it. Virtual thoughts winging their way to you. Smell and touch is so important. I saw someone on Instagram today that mentioned eating the last bit of jam that her mum had made before she died. It's so normal to feel this way.

I still have post-it notes my late DH wrote. Just to see his handwriting.