Does grief give you physical symptoms?

[Littlesparrowherenow]

Just wondering if anyone else experiences stomach problems due to grief?
My mum died 6 years ago, my best friend, and I've tried so hard to keep on going and focus on my little one and family, but there are times I just feel completely overwhelmed and lost.

I'm struggling at the moment to be honest, and I'm having vivid dreams which wake me, leaving me tired. I'm very anxious too and my stomach seems to be suffering too. Spoke to the GP last time I felt like this and she said it was anxiety.

Just wondering if anyone else experiences this, and if you have any tips on how to cope with the waves of grief that floor you?

Thanks.

Sorry to read how you’re struggling. I’ve no advice but here hoping too that someone does. My mum died a couple of weeks ago and the overwhelming thuds of grief are physically painful.

I'm so sorry for your loss PinkAvocado, and that you feeling the same. You describe it perfectly as thuds.
Hoping that you have people around you to help and support you. Thinking of you. Take it second by second and minute by minute was how I coped... But new ideas needed to help!!

Here's hoping someone has some pearls of wisdom to share that might help us x

Take care and look after yourself the best you can 💐

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Grief affects everyone differently, and we all have different coping mechanisms. I lost my DH 26 years ago, and still get days where the grief hits me. I find that, if it’s really bad, it’s best not to fight it, but just to put some sad music on and have a bloody good cry until you’ve expressed it all out of your system. Stress chemicals are actually excreted in teardrops, so it’s helpful physically as well as emotionally.
If you’re tired and anxious at night, I find that it helps to pray, and give the grief and stress to God to deal with. Ask for peace and healing, and ask God to look after your mum’s soul for you until you are reunited with her.
Relaxation therapy can also be good for anxiety from any cause, not just grief. Ditto meditation.
You will gradually have fewer bad days, OP, but bereavement is not something that we “get over” - we just come to terms with the loss and learn to live with it. It’s a bit like an amputation - the leg will never grow back, but you can begin to manage to hop around with crutches or a prosthesis, to go on living.
Be kind to yourself. Six years isn’t very long in terms of a major loss. It will get easier, and you will eventually be able to have happy memories of your mum without them making you cry. God bless.

I believe it can. I lost my mum nearly 7 years ago, my sister a year ago, and I do experience physical ‘pain’. I feel nauseous, and this feeling I get in the pit of my stomach, so yes I do think grief can manifest itself as physical pain.

Sorry for your loss, it is unexplainable and very difficult

Thank you so much Babdoc for your kind words and really useful advice. I agree that you never 'get over' the death of a loved one x
This time I've found it hard to cry, there's been so much going on and those around me so busy that when I try to let go, I can't as I need to attend to important things that need doing...but desperately wanting some time just for me to shout out and cry. Im hoping I can get some time for myself soon.
Thank you 💐

Grief is a really physical thing. When my brother in law died it played havoc with my gut and my right eye twitched constantly. I knew I was adjusting to the situation when the twitching stopped. You might benefit from some bereavement support. Have you thought of contacting CRUSE?

Thank you for your reply Namechanger, it's reassuring, however I'm so sorry to hear of your losses and that you experience such physical pain too💐
I too feel nauseous at times. I suppose it's out body trying to cope with chemicals in our systems. Very difficult to deal with at times. Take care and thank you.

I throw up. I know life I'd bad when I keep being sick.

Sorry for your loss.

There is a link between stomach and emotions, so it’s normal for your stomach to play up when you are stressed or unhappy or grieving.

I’ve found peppermint tea helpful. Eating little and often even if you don’t feel like it may help too.

I tend to think of dreams as your minds way of trying to make sense of what has happened. Sometimes I wake up feeling more tired because I’ve dreamt so much and it isn’t restful. But it is part of processing feelings.

I hope you feel better soon.

Northern Lurker, thank you for your reassuring post, although I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your brother in law.
I have tried Cruse but their waiting list was so long, and I really struggle with childcare to allow me to go. I found speaking to a counsellor really useful 12 months after mum died, but unfortunately I felt under pressure to be OK as I needed to ask family to look after little one whilst I went to appointments. That brought its own pressures, but the talking was really helpful. Think I may need to look into it again, although when I tried to access help at Christmas I was told I seem to be coping fine... It didn't feel like that!! I think maybe Cruse might be more helpful?
Thank you.

Google diaphragmatic breathing, there's actually a Ted Talk on how grief is physically symptomatic.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time x

Oliviastabler, that sounds so tough 💐 Take care. Hope it doesn't happen too often.

Notevilstepmother- I'd forgotten about peppermint... Will try the tea. After I had little one they gave me peppermint to drink, really helped 💐 Agree that dreaming helps make sense of what's happening. Thank you.

Thank you ASAS will Google 💐

Yes it does. It made my chest physically hurt. It passes in time

It absolutely does. My husband and I lost our baby son just over a month ago and we both have physical symptoms. My husband isn't sleeping well and had bad chest pains, which seem to be stomach related. I am nauseous all the time, have a constant sore throat and have roaring in my ears sometimes.

little there is no set time for grief to ‘end’ and don’t let anyone tell you that, or make you feel guilty for feel the way you do. I miss my Mum and my sister so much, because they were an integral part of my life. How do you ever get over that? You don’t, is the answer, you just adapt to a different normal.

I miss my mum and sisters company, their conversation, their humour. I could spend hours with them and never a cross word, or tire of their company. How do you ever come to terms with that kind of loss, I ask myself.

You are suffering from anxiety associated with the grieving process, thats what i’d Say.

I was so off food and abdo pains after my DF died. It was awful - I thought I had some dreadful disease
I could only eat pale food like cheese sandwiches, pasta
Nausea and vomiting intermittently but more often just retching
I was referred to a gastroenterologist who basically told me it was grief
Took about 6 months to clear up

Yes I believe grief can give you physical symptoms. When my dd died I had a crushing pain in my chest. I was pregnant at the time,I can remember telling the doctor that I thought I was having a heart attack.

My sleep really suffered because I used to have very vivid nightmares and in the end I couldn't sleep because I was scared to because I knew the nightmares would come back.

Counselling helped me,although I found it very painful to talk about dd.

CanIBuffalo, that must have been very scarey. I try to tell myself things will pass too. Just seems to be taking longer at the moment. Take care.

Georgina125, I am so terribly sorry to hear you have lost your baby boy, there are no words and I cannot imagine how you and your husband must be feeling 💐 thinking of you both and hoping you have support around you at such a difficult time. Our bodies are under tremendous pressure when we lose someone close to us, take care and hope your symptoms lessen soon. Thank you for taking the time to post, and help me realise that grief can cause all manner of symptoms.

Namechanger1404, that's exactly it... I miss mums company in the way you describe so well. Trying to find a new normal us difficult isn't it? Just think I'm getting there when something knocks me down again. Your kind words have really helped thank you. 💐 I think it it anxiety related to grief.

Justforareply, you sound to have been through the mill, thank you for your post. Hope it has settled now. I'm rather similar about pale foods and can't handle anything too strongly flavoured either.

Once again, thank you for posting ParkheadParadise, I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter 💐. I think I would benifit from counselling too, I'm rather emotional at the moment and feel very 'at sea' if that makes sense. Take care.

Oliviastabler, that sounds so tough 💐 Take care. Hope it doesn't happen too often.

Thanks Littlesparrowherenow. I lost my Mum 16 years ago but some days it is still so raw even now. I've always found the 'Time heals' comments incorrect, for me personally time heals nothing, it just allowed me to learn to live with it.

Grief is personal. There is no right or wrong and there is no time limit by which you should 'get over it' whatever anyone else says.

I'm so sorry that you too have lost your mum 💐 I agree with you that the comment time heals isn't really true.

Trying to find a new normal way of life without a loved one is so very hard, and I think that it will always hit us at different times, and yesterday felt so raw as if I'd just lost mum again. I was just worrying that maybe I needed to address the stomach issues, but hearing how grief has affected others it seems that I need to find new ways to ease the anxiety I feel, which will hopefully help.

After googling the breathing technique mentioned above that really helped last night.

You are right, grief is very personal. Take care and thank you 💐

A wonderful book, "Coping With Grief" by Mal and Dianne McKissock, details some of the physical effects of grief, all mentioned above. What they do say is that anything persistent must be referred to a doctor

What I noticed, and still do, is trudging, I slow down when downcast, something I never did until my DH died.

Thanks echt, I will look up the book as it sounds useful. So sorry you have had to deal with the loss of your DH💐

That's the thing, my stomach is not all the time but regular enough to be annoying at the moment... Think it is down to how I'm feeling as I'm finding things really tough going at the moment, and can't get enthusiasm or energy up to do anything, which I recognise is when I'm struggling.

Yes, Littlesparrow, the cyclical nature of it is signal to us to pay attention, often the first sign that things are tough on top of the usual toughness, IYSWIM.

I know what you mean echt, thanks 💐 I've downloaded the book you recommended and started reading. It's helping.

Just trying to keep going through toughness at moment and hoping that I can get going again soon.