MIL now I'm widowed

[Wuss2018]

I am recently widowed and am now concerned about my MIL future relationship with my children.

I was with my husband for 15 years and I pretty much stayed out of any family disputes etc. A few days before my husband passed away she sent me vile text messages calling me all sorts and blaming me because he was ill. She also put stuff in Facebook about me, all of which completely untrue. A week after he passed again she sent me awful messages as she didn't like the plans for the funeral. The language in these messages is disgusting. Not the type of language you would want from your children's grandparent! Since my husband passed she has not once contacted me to ask about the children, yet had time for her other children. She completly ignored my son at the funeral. I am
Not going to volunteer any info to her. But what do I do should if she contacts me to see them as I really don't want her to see them. She's may be grieving - we all are- but to send me such messages she's never has before betrays my husband.
She would never have sent them whilst he was alive.

Sorry time for her other grandchildren.

Firstly sorry for your loss.. At this time I would put her to one side (and beat her with a big stick), and concentrate on your own well being and that of your dc. She doesn't sound like she would have anything positive to add to your lives now or maybe ever. Don't feel bad if nc is the way forward for you all.

So sorry for your loss wuss I’m a widow and I have a lot of friends who are also widowed because I am a member of WAY (Widowed and Young)
Lots of us have horror stories about our in-laws after bereavement, you are not alone. WAY is for people who are widowed aged 50 or younger, obviously I don’t know how old you are but if you’re over 50 I’m sure there other groups where you can get support.
www.widowedandyoung.org.uk

Sorry for your loss . Personally I’d just block her number so she can’t leave anymore vile messages and if she does contact you then it would depend on how old the children are as to whether I would allow her to see them , be that alone or accompanied by someone else ( aunt/ uncle) if you don’t want to see her .

My mil was recently widowed, her own mil was awful.
FIL had cancer and knew he was dying, he and MIL planned his funeral and he decided he wanted to be cremated and a humanist service.
GMIL wailed and cried that he would go to hell without a full catholic burial. In the end he was given a blessing after he died to appease her even though it wasn’t what he wanted. She refused to sit with the rest of the family at the wake and basically ignored DH and our children.
She’s not spoken to MIL since the funeral and MIL is refusing to be the one to contact her.
sorry for your loss wuss

The children are 7 and 9. They didn't see her that much anyway as she always focused on her other children. They have asked when she is babysitting them next but that's only because when he was first ill she was great and was there for the children. She will definitely never be allowed to babysit them
Again and certainly not
Overnight. If I'm honest I don't care for her , I suppose more it's how I explain it to the children should they ask. It's sad they have lost their dad and their nan. I'm
Not sure sure she realises the repercussions.

She sounds utterly foul! If she contacts you I would just ignore, tbh. Why should you respond when she can't keep a civil tongue in her head and why would you want someone like that around your kids?

I'm so sorry OP.
Honestly, if this were me I wouldn't let her see my children, not after what she's said after hour husband died.

I would cut her off completely. She sounds poisonous and I doubt she will ever change.

Keep the messages. Print them out or saved somewhere safe because you never know one day in the future she might contact DC and spin it around saying how awful you are keeping them from you.then you can say to DC this was why and it was only because you were protecting them

She sounds foul!
No loss there then op!
Leave her to it.
Don’t contact her.
Sorry for your loss