Six months today

[ChristmasLightLover]

My Dad died six months ago. I've spent the last week being worked up over whether to count it as last Sunday, this Sunday or today - Saturday, by the date. Which is all very me - I like to get things 'right'. But actually it doesn't matter, does it?

My Dad died and I am sad. I am not less sad than I was, it's a different sadness now. I miss him. I'm sad that my Mum is so lonely. I'm sad that our boys cry for him when they are over tired in their beds. I miss being able to call him when I want to chat about my work or my family or what's happening in the world. I am busting to talk with him about Donald Trump! He was the definition of working class and so proud of all he achieved - what would he make of him?? I don't know. He had dementia so I wasn't able to talk about it with him before he died.

I miss my Dad so much. I know he wants me to live my best life. I want to work out what that is. What it looks like. How it feels. And what I can do to move towards it.

But for today, I'm here and I'm looking at my videos of my Dad - the last one where he knew me. Where he said how nice it was to see my brother. I'm so grateful for it. I just miss him so much. We'll carry on, and make the best of it because we haven't died and there's so much to do together. It's just that I'm doing it with a sad heart.

I love you Daddy. That's all there is to it. x

he sounds wonderful
I’m so sorry for your loss

My dear Mum died on the 22nd of February this year, and I thought last night that I was approaching six months without her. Seeing your thread title made me take a look at what you had written.

Your words and emotions resonated with me, and I would like to thank you for posting as you did. By doing so, you have helped me. I am grateful, and I hope that you and your loved ones can soon find peace again.

Hey @ChristmasLightLover
my dad died 20 years ago... I still miss him just as much as I did that first day.
If you want to talk to him then talk to him. Talking out loud helps me.
I know he will be proud of you no matter what you do.
X

After reading some of the threads here, aren't those of us on this thread lucky to have had such wonderful parents, that we miss dreadfully.

15 years on and I still think of my Dad daily, and miss his take on things. Mum joined him 18 months ago, and there are times I feel like an orphan. But I will always be so glad they were my parents.

Almost a year since I lost Dad to cancer.Last nite I saw a man who looked like him from behind....how much I would give to see Dad one more time.I too miss telling Dad how work was and he would tell me off for working too hard.I feel dreadful for mum too alone after 54 years.I agree we are lucky to have had great Dads.I mostly think of him fondly however sometimes I feel v sad.Perhaps you should see the gp to check you are not depressed.Hugs to you.

Thank you to everyone who replied.

whatisforteamum that sort of thing stops me in my tracks. I've only had it once and it really did unsettle me. No one else saw the bloke and as I'm trying to explain, they're all saying "what is mum going on about now????".... Thank you for the thought re GP.

ajandjjmum My Mum said the same - I'm alone now - when both parents had died. I felt offended at the time - I was 17. But I get it now. I didn't realise how much I appreciated his input until the dementia took hold.

wooya I talk to him when I am driving. I used to call home when I was driving and check in...

xpc316e Thank you. How do you feel about it at this point? I'm starting to see things differently. But sometimes it still overwhelms me. In a way I didn't expect....

KTD27 He was funny and naughty and had a whole new lease of life when I became a Mum. He loved our boys and I am grateful that they knew him.

Thank you for replying, I really appreciate it. Hope there's sunshine wherever you all are.