One year anniversary approaching....what did you do ?Did the run up send you back into grief

[whatisforteamum]

Dad s anniversary is in sept.Since he died the whole family has gone NC as we are all busy and DM scattered.His ashes without telling us then posted on FB.
Mostly I have coped fine.Fathers day was the worst I felt worse than when he died.:(
I wondered will August be dreadful remembering how very I'll be was etc.
What was it like for you? What.did you do on the day.Thanks in advance.

Everyone is different. I've found the run up to my DH's death anniversaries far worse than the date itself.

We're also approaching the anniversary of my dm passing away & I'm not looking forward to the day - I don't even know if my ddad will want to do anything. I haven't been too bad in the build up & I have tried not to focus on dates leading up to the anniversary but I think that might change as we approach the actual date - it's so hard & you've no idea if you've never been through it

I can't believe a year has almost passed.Sorry for the loss of your DM..

I found the run up to the first 6 anniversaries dreadful, but the first one was obviously the worst. The day itself was pretty horrible, tho I can't remember anything at all about it now (mine died 20+ years ago).

Everyone is different and every loss is different. Whatever you experience and feel is normal for you. Just be easy on yourself.

I found the first anniversary of dd's death the worst. I went to the cemetery and then went home. I didn't want to see anyone. Last year(2) was better for me. We went to the cemetery and then went for lunch with my DH and siblings.
Everyone deals with grief differently.
Sorry for your loss

@whatisforteamum thank you - I'm sorry for your loss too

It's strange isn't it? Sometimes it feels so recent like I can recall everything that happened on the day she died (and sometimes have to relive it with my dad 😕) and other times ift feels like a lifetime since I saw my mum - there's been so many things that have happened in the last year that I'd have shared with her

I'm still no nearer what we'll actually do on the day - I did think maybe lunch with the family but I'm not sure how my dad will feel about that, he feels bad sometimes when we do stuff as he says my mum would have loved it!

Thank you for repying.Sorry for your losses too.My DM has started to get memories appear on FB as Df was a keen photographer and obviously as his career she will remember the count down more.Dr was.admitted to hospital 6 weeks before he passed as the cancer was in his spine and later his brain.It was a.dreadful time and he became v depressed.
I feel like it was a lifetime ago however I feel the run up may send ripples of heartache again especially as Autumn approaches.
I am glad a year has passed.so haven't had RL support though and I think I've buried some feelings.

I'm sure it will be a difficult time but once it's passed it might get a bit easier as all the "firsts" are over?

I've been very lucky as my dh has been very supportive & I also have a close friend who's mum passed away last year too - so we can talk to each other about it but I think it's natural to keep some feelings bottled up

I'm dreading it too. It's nearly a year ago since my DF died. Not sure what we will be doing on the day, don't know whether DM will want to mark it.

Sorry for everyone who is also going through this

I usually dread the anniversary of my brother's death. But in fact the anniversaries themselves have always been quite nice, in a sad, tender sort of way. I do something nice for myself as he'd have wanted that.

I'm just approaching 6 months since Dh died so obviously haven't yet dealt with this, but just to say that you can go into Facebook settings and stop 'memories' appearing. That was a huge relief. Sorry I can't remember exactly how I did it.

Well so far so good.I can feel a.tension building though a bit like father's day which was worse than Dad's funeral.All in all I think I've cop-ed really well through channelling my energies into work.No one has ever asked how I'm doing anyway so perhaps that helps.A couple of weeks until a year has passed for that I am pleased to put distance between his horrific death and have some positivity in life since.love to all x