Just recieved some sad news

[jofeb04]

We've just heard that my dh's nan has passed away in her sleep. Both distraught, and we don't have a clue how to tell ds (3), he loved her so much (nan is ds greatnan).

Obv may not be about to reply back to you

So sorry

Oh no! My cousin lost her husband due to a heart attack and her kids were about 10 and 6 at the time. She told them that God likes special people to be angels so thats why he took their Daddy...maybe something like that?

Really sorry to hear of your loss and sending big hugs your way

Very sorry to hear this. Kids are very resilient and I'm sure he will deal with it ok. Just be honest and tell him the truth in words he will understand. Make it clear that she cannot come back, as kids easily get confused.

How is your dh?

dh seems to be trying not to cry he won't let go, and he's gone for some food

Give him his own space to cry freely and don't try to force him to open up, he'll do it in his own good time.

very sorry for your loss, your DH will grieve in his own time, no doubt x

thanks you lot

Very sorry to hear your news My DD1 was 5 when DD2 died, we were very honest but simple when telling her, so she knew that she wouldn't be coming back but tried to shield her from the in and outs of it all.
We talk about her all the time and to this day, I am positive it has helped the grieving process, for her as well as me and DH.
I owuld definitely be as honest as you can.
Hope he is okay?

So sorry to hear this. I agree that children are often very accepting of death. We were dreading telling our children when DH's mum died very suddenly. They were 3 and 2. They both took it in their stride tbh and we were very close.

Look after your DH.

oh bless you jofeb04, we've had bereavements recently, its never easy but children do seem to understand in their own way... its just such a strange time for everyone concerned

I'm really sorry for you all.

In my experience,(which thankfully is limited)children tend to be far more accepting and matter of fact about death than you'd expect.

Agree - children are very resilient. In our experience (they've lost 3 grandparents), it varies according to age. My DS was 3 when my dad died, we explained it as being like Mufasa dying in the Lion King so that he could understand it. He's 14 now and has just lost his Nan. Cried his heart out at the funeral (first one he's been to) and that seemed to help.

Very sorry for your loss, and coping with your children and DH's loss is an extra burden for you, take care.

You could get a balloon for your DS to let into the sky with his own message attached just for his Greatnan. That way, he can say his last goodbye

That's lovely Emwad, wish I'd known about that idea earlier. I told my children to say goodbye to Nan's coffin, broke my heart to see DD wave, blow a kiss and say goodbye. Son was just in bits. Balloons would have been easier on all of us.