Suicide of an ex-friend

[Oddsocks2]

I learned through a mutual acquaintance that my neighbor has committed suicide. She was v depressed- I had no idea.

We were good friends at a time. Then parted company over quite a serious issue. I was devastated at the time. But still had an affection for her. There was a lot of misunderstanding & I had hoped that one day we could sort it out.

We would occasionally bump into one another and were at the stage where we could have a civil conversation about everyday stuff. I was always anxious about meeting her though.

So now she is gone & I just can’t believe it. She had so much to live for- a large family who loved her. I am thinking about her all the time. I would have liked to have gone to the funeral but felt too awkward. I don’t know if I would have been well received by the family & certainly don’t want to cause them further annoyance by turning up when they will remember our disagreement. Am considering whether a card or donation in lieu of flowers would be appropriate or not.

So sad.

Very sad. If you don't go to the funeral, try to find another way to commemorate her life, to help you come to terms with the news.

How about if you start drafting a heart-felt letter to the family, keep working on it but wait to send a few weeks to a month post funeral... it will give her immediate family more time to work thru their emotions.

Thank you for your replies. I think I’m going to send a simple card. I don’t want silence to be interpreted as not caring, or as having a hard hearted position towards her. Neither do I want to draw too much attention to it, so it’s probably best if it arrives at a time when lots of people are sending condolences.
I’ve been considering the heart felt letter. Maybe that could be done later too. But difficult - I can’t imagine what the family are going through & don’t want to bother them with my unresolved issues.