How do I tell my 5 year old daughter her beloved Grandpa is dead?

[somersetmama]

My father died while we were on holiday last Sunday, we've only just managed to get back. I am an only child so I have to deal with everything over the next week or so. The problem is I need to ask friends to look after DD while I do all this as its half term. Should I tell her now about her Grandpa or later. And how do I tell her? (I couldn't bear to tell her while were on holiday she was having such a good time). Any suggestions or advice would be gratefully received. I'm feeling so overwhelmed by it all.

So sorry to hear that somersetmama. Twig is the person you need. She had some excellent advice on this which I'm not going to try to replacate. I'll try and get her over here for you. We told dd that grandpa had gone to a special place where he was happy and could watch over us but that we couldn't visit but she was much younger when FIL died. Hope you are holding up ok.

How sad for you. I have no experience of this, but I suspect that your dd may have already picked up on the fact that you're upset, so it may be better to tell her sooner then later.

Quite how you tell her - it's up to you, depending on your own beliefs and what you think your dd will be able to understand and cope with. You will know best.

this is a useful thread

DANCESwithnewlytannedlegs, thank you so much for those threads, its a great help. I couldn't seem to find anything relevant when I searched. But then my brain isn't functioning too well right now.

and Belgo thanks for the kind comments.

A lot of the arrangements are happening tomorrow so I will tell DD once I know our plans. Many thanks again.

so sorry to hear this ssm. ime kids of this age tend to understand it is sad but dont really understand properly, ds1 was 5 when my grandad died (we were very close), he knew he was dead but asked several times when he would see him again. he cried, i cried, i think it helped me that he knew as i wasnt trying to be brave and smile infront of him. i wasnt in your position but we arranged stuff all together as a family so he understood i was busy with my grandma a fair bit. he didnt come to the funeral but both my kids came to the party afterwards which was nice (if thats the right word?). he aso made a lovely picture to say goodbye and we put it in the coffin. dont know if it helped him to understand or not but it meant we got to talk about him together. think i am wittering now, hope a bit of this helps

Thanks gg. Yes, that does help. I think the picture idea is good, we'll do that.