To mark the anniversary?

[Timeforachange68]

We're rapidly approaching the 1st Anniversary of my dear mum dying & I don't know how to approach it. My dad is still alive but I don't know whether he will want to mark the day somehow or just let it pass - I don't really know how to broach the subject tbh - any suggestions?

My mum was cremated & my dad still has the ashes so no "place" to visit iyswim.

I am wondering the same. It's a few weeks until the 1st anniversary of my dad's death.
personally I don't feel it's a day I really want to celebrate but I will put flowers near dads ashes (they are in mums garden)
We've had his birthday and father's day which were hard,.but again, I laid flowers and lit a candle.
I'm not sure what my mum will want to do.
Can you maybe ask your dad if he would like to plant a rose or something to remember your mum? Your dad may be thinking the same. Maybe he would like to scatter the ashes or bury them.in a pot in the garden with a rose?

Jools I remember your username from the time - how are you doing?

We had my mum's birthday too - around the same time as Mother's Day which was a tough couple of weeks - we actually went out for lunch on her birthday as it was the weekend after my son's but we didn't really acknowledge it?

Thanks for the rose suggestion, apparently my dad has told my sister he'll be keeping her ashes & expects us to intern them together when he dies!

It's a minefield really - we do talk about my mum but I think he may be of similar mind to yourself that it's not a day to "celebrate" as such

I do remember you time I'm mostly doing ok, some days I still can't believe my lovely dad has gone. He would have loved this weather and the football.
Mum was unsure about what to do with dads ashes, but she likes that they are in her garden, I think she sits on the patio and chats to him!
I hope you can come to a decision, it's not easy

I know it catches you like that doesn't it - I look at my mum's photo & it's hard to accept that I'll never see her again 😕 and I get upset over the oddest things! All part of the grieving process I guess!

I haven't broached the subject with my dad re the ashes - they are currently in a cabinet in his lounge albeit in a beautiful container!

Thanks for taking the time to reply

I can be perfectly fine, then I think about something to do with dad, or something I want to tell him and the tears come very easily.
I said to DH the other day, my dad 'got' me. We were kindred spirits. I think that's why I miss him so much.

Yes I think it's the things they miss - like milestones with your dc that you'd have usually told them about that bring it home to you again, I wonder if it's always going to be like that? So much has happened here since my mum went & I'm going through some stuff with my eldest son that I'd have definitely talked to her about 😕