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Bereavement

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When addiction finally takes its toll

4 replies

PixieDarkAndPixieLight · 20/06/2018 20:49

My partner of nearly 20 years passed away recently. I don't know whether it was accidental or intentional. We argued the night before he died about his addiction issues. I was so angry with him and we both said some horrible things and now he's gone. It was only recently that I learned of his addiction issues. He had always struggled with depression and did often drink too much at stressful point but it'd gotten so much worse and I couldn't understand why. He admitted recently that he had become addicted to prescription painkillers after getting them for a back injury. I threatened to leave as he was putting everyone in danger with his reckless behaviour, after I started putting this in action he went completely off the rails and I feel so responsible for everything.

I'm struggling. With the shock of it, not knowing what his intention was, how we left things between eachother, thinking how low he must have been feeling. Im feeling trapped in a life that I never wanted, widowed and looking after the children alone, worried about my future financially. I'm spending every day going through the motions and waiting for the day end, it's relentless. I'm short tempered with the kids and feel like I'm letting them down. I can't stop replaying everything, trying to think where it went wrong and how I could have changed the outcome. The guilt is crushing me.

So many people are able to look back on a loved ones life and think fondly of their life together but every happy memory is overshadowed by the awful ones. I don't even know how to start moving on.

OP posts:
shipshapeandchaotic · 20/06/2018 22:11

I'm so very sorry for your loss. There are lots of underlying issues here and may I suggest that you would benefit from professional grief support/counselling. You can access this either via your doctor or google Cruse bereavement to see if they are in your area. I wish you all the best and hope you are able to find some peace xx

fruitcider · 20/06/2018 22:15

I'm really sorry for your loss. There are lots of services out there that can help you come to terms with it all, which area of the country are you in? X

Ohyesiam · 20/06/2018 22:19

It sounds to me like you have nothing to be guilty about Flowers. You were on an impossible situation.

You need some support and some time for yourself .
I second what pp said about Cruse counsellor.
So sorry for your loss op.

PixieDarkAndPixieLight · 22/06/2018 09:31

Thank you, I referred to counselling and have had one session but have to do it with the baby whilst the others are in school/nursery which is a bit of a pain. The only time to myself is after bed time by which point I'm so tired.

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