5 years ago tonight I went to bed laughing - me and the dh had just made a list of where we wanted to go. I wanted bruges or Amsterdam - he wanted colditz or rourkes drift. The next day he went to work , had a heartvattack and died instantly. Part of me died that day. The day was so vivid - I can remember it all in such detail. I have been coping with what life throws at me most days but this one day is so raw. I have booked work off tomorrow. I just miss him so much and my heart is churning at the memories that will flood back. In some ways it seems a lifetime ago but mostly I still expect him to walk through the door.