Best friend killed herself

[weechops]

Hi I had a thread at the end of 2014 in mental health because my best friend tried to kill her self by overdosing, and I wanted advice how to talk to her. Some lovely people helped me and on the prayer thread too. I us d the name Worriedfriend.
She was found and survived and seemed to be doing ok.
But 3 weeks ago she jumped from a cliff and died.
She left her husband a note. I’ve been to her funeral but I can’t quite believe it.
We lived hours away from each other but she was still like my sister. There’s no one left who’s known me as long.
I think I need to talk to someone in a selfish way, because I’m supporting her husband and they have 2 young kids and she has an older daughter too.
I just want to cry. My best friend is gone.

I'm really sorry for your loss, massive hugs xxx

Please speak to someone if you need to, I'll leave a link to a good website, but even speaking to family, friends, mumsnet is a great help

OP I very rarely post but I just wanted to reach out to you as sadly I have some experience with what you are enduring although my relationship with my friend was not nearly as close. I would suggest you take a drive and find somewhere quiet and wail - for me it was a bodily pain and a true loss of some of my sense of identity and I couldn’t contain that almost animal like sound that need to be vented from my body. I was and still am angry with myself for not fighting for her more but I don’t honestly think the outcome would have been any different and as a mother if 4 that still terrifies me. I think you should look into getting some sounding board for yourself also as a huge part of your life has been ripped away and in such a horrendous way. I am truly sorry for your loss - your friend sounded lovely. RIP

So sorry OP 💐

Make some time to lock the door, turn your phone off, curl up on the sofa under a blanket with some water and just cry and howl and let the pain and rage and grief feelings out. Try not to bottle it up inside xx

Survivors Of Bereavement By Suicide (SOBS) are really good. Cruse have a 6 month waiting list in my area. You could ask your GP if there is a counsellor in house you can see?

Thanks very much guys.
Although I don’t understand how she could leave her kids, I know that she must have been in tremendous pain to have actually gone through with it. Those girls and her husband were everything to her.
I don’t feel anger towards her, I feel relieved for her that she’s st peace, and I feel so sad that she just couldn’t overcome her thoughts and feelings.
The priest at her funeral said she was doing God’s work without even knowing it, she made everyone feel good about themselves and brought the best out in them. She was so positive and enthusiastic. She was a SEN teacher. So well known in her town and well liked. I really feel like a light has gone out in the world.
My husband is home from work in 2 weeks so I’m going to try and get an appointment with cruse for then and let it out for a bit.

The Children's Bereavement Society were good for my children to talk to. Winstons Wish is another one. They do some booklets that may be of use.

I am so sorry for your loss

My best friend died when we were 16. Everyone cried on my shoulder because I was her best friend - her boyfriend, her mum, our mutual friends. But I had no one to cry on because she was gone. I kept it together for about 6 months, then as everyone else started to cope and move on I had a massive breakdown that took years to recover from.

Make sure you take care of yourself at this time, remember to let yourself grieve too

Don't beat yourself up for being 'selfish' OP - you've suffered a big loss too.

I'm so sorry