I lost my dad last march which absolutely devastated me as I have always been a daddies girl. I was living the other side of the uk at the time and had seen him 2weeks before. Trying to sort the service out with my very over bearing dictorial sister who has zero emotions was killing me, I felt no one was taking anything I felt into consideration. She was telling me what I was to do and I was telling her what I would like to do ie I didn't want to stand and do a reading and a poem together I needed a break (plus I think its the norm to have that break rather than 1 person standing for ages) anyway, she ignored me and got the service printed and I was so incredibly upset and she said she couldn't change it. On the day I had a word with the vicar and he said that was fine and he'd do a reading inbetween , he didn't, he sat there when I sat down and everyone started shuffling awkwardly, he then came to me and said about the poem so I said we agreed I was having a break then I'd do it. I felt such an idiot. Roll on 3 weeks and my relationship fell apart, me and my sister became estranged, I had to move back to my mums place. Struggling so very much with a year of grief and turmoil and feel like it getting worst not easier. I literally can spend a whole week hiding in bed. My relationship with mum has hit the rocks and I quite frankly would rather live in a tent than be here the tension is horrible. The one time I broke down crying I wanted my dad back she just said get over it things happen, then the time I don't have dinner ready at 5 she huffs and puffs then starts snivelling she just make an egg. I really don't know how to get though all this the grief is overwhelming me and life is falling apart.