Not even beginning to get over mums death

[southernharp]

Well it's all in the title really. I wake up in pain everyday. As time goes on I feel like I can talk about it less and less and yet the pain is no smaller. I feel terrible that I didn't make it to see her before she died and that there was so much left unsaid. I was on my way and it was all so quick. I feel utterly alone and literally have no idea what to do with all of this.

So very sorry for your loss.

You don't get over deaths, they become a part of your life.

Would you like to say about your mum?

Sorry for your loss. I lost my mum recently too

I felt like this about my dad for such a long time. I thought I’d never forgive myself for not seeing him at Christmas (I’d just had a baby). The thing that really helped me was seeing a v experience counsellor. I still miss him but I’m in a different place now. I hope this helps. Xx

Please find a bereavement counsellor. A friend tried to rely on her sons for support and it nearly broke the family up. As you say you do need to talk about it but you feel people want to hear it less and less. You still need to say things.

Me too op. Been 9 months since I lost my mum. Keep thinking of things I should have done or said. I'm thinking about counselling for sure. Sending a hug.

You don't have to get over her death. That's the most important thing to accept I think - that you will always have the pain of her loss, just that some days you will hardly notice it, some days it will be a dull ache and some days it will be sharp, painful and raw. To expect an end to grief is unrealistic and makes things worse because you feel like you are unnatural to still be grieving when other people get over their parent's death- but the truth is that the rest of us bereaved are walking around hurting inside too and aren't getting over thing either.

It would be nice to be asked how you are and if you want to talk about your Mum and how you are feeling by your friends and family, but sadly most of us are human and find asking hard. Maybe the next time a friend asks you how you are, you could try with "actually, I'm not that great.." but I know that is hard too.