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Bereavement

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Anxiety

1 reply

Jaybrickel · 29/04/2018 22:08

My Gran died just before Christmas. She was the first close person to me who died and it was fairly sudden, all happening within a month of finding out she was ill. She also suffered with dementia as a complication from her illness which made it emotionally trying for different reasons, added to the fact my daughter was only 6 weeks old when my gran died. I was quite involved in helping my mum and grandad clear her stuff etc after she died and its triggered a huge amount of anxiety in me for a few reasons:
A) my mum is single and it really hit home that should she die, i am her next of kin and would be responsible for doing all of the post-death stuff by myself mostly. There is no reason to think she is going to die any time soon but my anxiety isnt very rational.
B) i have become incredibly anxious about my kids safety. I am a bit of a worrier but never to this extent. If my MIL has my baby for a few hours im convinced they will be in a car crash or i keep having nightmares about them dying. I fell down the stairs with my baby two months ago and now every time i go to go down the stairs i physically feel my legs wobble and picture dropping her over and over.

I have had anxiety before and previously had some cbt but this is completely different. Its not even specifcally linked to my gran herself, its just her death triggered it.

OP posts:
PeaPodPopper · 29/04/2018 22:21

Flowers for you my lovely - am so sorry to hear about your Gran.

my anxiety isnt very rational - that's the thing with this isn't it, it just isn't .
I remember when I hit my 50's I thought that was it, that I was old and didn't have long left to live. Totally irrational and totally wrong, I know that now, but I had to live with those thoughts until the day I woke up and they weren't there anymore.
Like you, I think they had been triggered by events in my life during the previous few months, but now, I'm loving my life and enjoy it every day.

Try to be kind to yourself. Tell yourself each time you have a thought like you've described that 'no, it's not going to happen', then do something you like - could be a simple thing like have a wander around the garden, or make a brew.

Oh, and a big positive hug for you too.

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