When and what to say?

[Mrsjones17]

My grandad is dying. He has been poorly for a long time and it’s not unexpected but it’s stoll tough. I’m lucky that I have just turned 30 and have had many wonderful memories with him. We are very close. His illness now means his quality of life is poor and he has said he has had enough. All the signs are there that this could be our last few days. It’s the first impending death I’ve ever had to deal with and I don’t know what to. What do I say? When do I say it? What if I regret not saying something? I have no idea what I’m asking really just need to write down thoughts and maybe thoughts of others? I realise this is trivial in comparison to some and I’m sorry if it offends anyone. I just feel so sad and not sure what to do

Hi OP I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this 💐 it’s so hard but totally ok to be sad and unsure.

For me when my mum was dying it was my chance to tell her I loved her, share some fond memories and because of our shared sense of humour to have a few laughs as bad as that sounds!

There’s no right or wrong way to be just be yourself with him and don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Hugs 💐

Maybe if you sit together, not try and force any conversation, it's ok to be quiet. Just say and do what feels right at the time. I know easier said than done but try and relax and just be together. If you do this I'm sure things will flow as they are meant to. Best wishes to you and your family at this time.

Just be there if you can, there’s no need to talk. I used to sit with my dad, I don’t regret it just tell him you love him and laugh with him about the memories. The sorrow will be there but so are the good times. Make sure you look after yourself it’s important, and take each day as it comes.

Tell him you love him.
Talk about memories.

Give him your permission to die.
This is something I felt was important when my Mum was ill, she was in a coma for three years. I know all my siblings also did it. It obviously depends on your circumstances though.