Getting married in August my dad hasn't made it

[Bollockstoyou]

Dad knew we were engaged, he was pleased for us but his battle with cancer was more important at the time. I knew in my heart he wouldn't make it but there was a little hope. Sadly he lost his battle and past away and now some months later my wedding is looming. He's not going to be there, my mum also died of cancer years back so she will not be there either. I feel empty! On top of this my sister has turned her back on me, it's never been a good relationship and at 9 years older I've always looked up to her but she has just decided she won't be there for various reasons, one reason being she doesn't want to drive 2 hours. I feel so let down she is not making the effort, especially as dad has received died. At first I was sad, now I feel I hate her!

My dad I know will be there in spirit and my mum but it's going to be hard without them.

I'm so sorry for your losses. I know when I got married it highlighted everyone who should have been there, I wish I could think of anything to make it better.

My mums sister pulled something similar at the first significant event after their mother died. This was before I was born. I wish my mum had felt able to let her go as people who treat you like that are no substitute for those who really love you.

Could you include some kind of tribute to your parents as part of your wedding? I remember reading that Jamie Oliver s wife had apples on all her place settings because her Father had called her the apple of his eye. So sorry for your losses xx

I'm so sorry for your loss.

. Would it make you feel better if you did something special on the day to commemorate them?

When my sister got married she had a table with photographs of her dad and her partners dad and the vicar mentioned them in the service.

Your sister is grieving too so I would try not to hate her and take it personally. Focus on the good and happy occasion that your wedding will be, celebrating your love with your df. At my own wedding I found the vows the most special and moving part. At other weddings and in the planning, it can sometimes be all about the other things. but at my own wedding, I found I wasn't bothered about anything but me and dh on the day.

I lost my mum 20 years ago but had my dad at our wedding. We had, I think, rosemary, in the flowers as it means remembrance. Now my dad has passed away too. I am finding it hard to come to terms with living on and experiencing things without them. But am trying to accept that this grief is something I will have to learn to live with, as a part of me. I am trying to make the best choices for me and live my 'best life'; which they would have wanted.

Sorry that's just basically turned into me taking about me!!!

Ah thank you for your replies, there is some great ideas there. I have bought a bracelet with angel wings on , it says mum and dad on, that's my way of having them with me in some way. My ds (12) is giving me away which is special, my dd is bridesmaid as well as my 2 step daughters. I just still feel there is a big void no family basically on my side but loads of them on dp side.

I don't understand my sister, grieving or not I feel let down! It would of been nice to have her to help but nooo!!!